RIP Smitty

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Clams
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RIP Smitty

Post by Clams »

Word out of Alabama is that Smitty passed away last night. He left 4 kids and a ton of broken hearted family and friends. To love is to feel pain, there ain't no way around it.

RIP brother.
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John A Arkansawyer
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

Clams wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 6:16 am
Word out of Alabama is that Smitty passed away last night. He left 4 kids and a ton of broken hearted family and friends. To love is to feel pain, there ain't no way around it.

RIP brother.
Oh, man. This sucks.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

chuckrh
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by chuckrh »

RIP

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by brettac1 »

Just heard the news. So sorry to hear of Smitty’s passing. My condolences to his family.
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by beantownbubba »

There are no words, emojis or memes for this. Smitty deserves more and I'll try to say something meaningful at some point but right now I just can't. The world is a sadder, poorer, darker place today and I miss him terribly :cry: .
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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dime in the gutter
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by dime in the gutter »

terrible news.

so sad. wishing good juju for his loved ones.

ride on, brother.

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Jack Flash
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Jack Flash »

Oh my god. How horrible and heartbreaking. Best to LaDonna and family.

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tinnitus photography
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by tinnitus photography »

shit i didn't realize he had 4 kids. what a sad story all around.

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Iowan »

Man.

I never knew exactly what went down, but over the past couple years, he reached out to me many times for financial help. I never met Smitty in real life, but have known him here for years. I always pitched in, because when a friend needs help, you help him. Reading between the lines, it was pretty clear what was going on, but I always knew and trusted he was sincere in his desire to get better and reunite with his kids.

Now I’m just wondering if I really helped him or just enabled a tragedy. I feel just devastated for his kids, folks, and siblings.

Smitty, the world is a lesser place without you.

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cortez the killer
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by cortez the killer »

Awful. RIP
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Tequila Cowboy »

Iowan wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 8:52 am
Man.

I never knew exactly what went down, but over the past couple years, he reached out to me many times for financial help. I never met Smitty in real life, but have known him here for years. I always pitched in, because when a friend needs help, you help him. Reading between the lines, it was pretty clear what was going on, but I always knew and trusted he was sincere in his desire to get better and reunite with his kids.

Now I’m just wondering if I really helped him or just enabled a tragedy. I feel just devastated for his kids, folks, and siblings.

Smitty, the world is a lesser place without you.
Don't beat yourself up. All of us were in the same boat. Beth tried to get him into NA and we spoke with him a lot at one point until he didn't like what we had to say anymore. Still, I sent him money when he asked up to this past June or so. It's just tragic all around. Addiction sucks.
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by beantownbubba »

Iowan wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 8:52 am
Now I’m just wondering if I really helped him or just enabled a tragedy.
There's no right answer to this. Many HeAthens struggled with this issue specifically in response to Smitty's situation and of course way too many families and friends have struggled with it with respect to way too many of their loved ones.

And yes, addiction does suck.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by beantownbubba »

For those who don't know, Smitty's full name was Brandon Smith and he lived in Fruithurst, AL.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

Iowan
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Iowan »

Thanks guys. Not to trying to make this about anything else, just that’s it definitely fucking with me. Smitty and I were the same age. There by the grace of God go I, or whatever.

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cortez the killer
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by cortez the killer »

Smitty's last post

Last active: Wed Oct 06, 2021 1:22 pm
Also, is this accurate? If so, damn.
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Slipkid42 »

This just breaks my heart. I too struggled with the dilemma of am I being his friend or enabler. I listened to his cry for help and threw him a bone here and there. I told him of my own personal demons and whatnot and how I managed to persevere. I tried to keep him focused on the ultimate prize, his beautiful children. He kept telling me of this or that job prospect and how he had his head on straight; while reaching out for $5 or $10 to go see his Granny or Dad. I went with the tough love approach and cold shouldered him. Now it feels like I failed him and lost another son.
Last edited by Slipkid42 on Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Clams
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Clams »

cortez the killer wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 12:21 pm
Last active: Wed Oct 06, 2021 1:22 pm
Also, is this accurate? If so, damn.
^^^ that's crazy


So I went through some of Smitty's 10,000 3dd posts and made a playlist of songs and bands that he loved (and a few other songs that are appropriate to the moment). Here it is, feel free to listen and be sad. I'll try to add more later. If you know any songs that he loved, let me know and I'll add them.
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

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cortez the killer
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by cortez the killer »

Clams wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:13 pm
I'll try to add more later. If you know any songs that he loved, let me know and I'll add them.
Smitty loved him some David Berman. I nominate "All My Happiness is Gone."
You are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.
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dime in the gutter
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by dime in the gutter »

smitty loved bloodkin

rhododendron
another lost son of gypsy rose lee
black jacket
wet trombone blues
who do you belong to?
quarter tank of gasoline

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Clams
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Clams »

Added, thanks
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by LBRod »

beantownbubba wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 7:57 am
There are no words, emojis or memes for this. Smitty deserves more and I'll try to say something meaningful at some point but right now I just can't. The world is a sadder, poorer, darker place today and I miss him terribly :cry: .
Well said, Bubba.
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by scotto »

I can't remember who befriended me first back on 9B, but if not the first, Smitty was one of them. I feel bad, I feel bad for all of us, I mostly feel bad for his kids.
Whatever else he may or may not have been, he was a good dude.

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

Slipkid42 wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:12 pm
This just breaks my heart. I too struggled with the dilemma of am I being his friend or enabler. I listened to his cry for help and threw him a bone here and there. I told him of my own personal demons and whatnot and how I managed to persevere. I tried to keep him focused on the ultimate prize, his beautiful children. He kept telling me of this or that job prospect and how he had his head on straight; while reaching out for $5 or $10 to go see his Granny or Dad. I went with the tough love approach and cold shouldered him. Now it feels like I failed him and lost another son.
I feel that way, too, even though I did lay a little money on him. I think everyone does and I don't think anyone should. Nothing but sending someone to hang out with him and be his personal guardian angel--if even that--was going to stop this unless Smitty stopped it himself. What I gave him probably enabled some bad behavior; what I didn't give him might've caused worse. I don't know and neither does anyone. But I'm sure that no one was trying to do him harm and no one should blame themselves for what happened. It's like Lou Reed says: What's good? Life's good. But not fair at all.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

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scotto
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by scotto »

John A Arkansawyer wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 3:51 pm
Slipkid42 wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:12 pm
This just breaks my heart. I too struggled with the dilemma of am I being his friend or enabler. I listened to his cry for help and threw him a bone here and there. I told him of my own personal demons and whatnot and how I managed to persevere. I tried to keep him focused on the ultimate prize, his beautiful children. He kept telling me of this or that job prospect and how he had his head on straight; while reaching out for $5 or $10 to go see his Granny or Dad. I went with the tough love approach and cold shouldered him. Now it feels like I failed him and lost another son.
I feel that way, too, even though I did lay a little money on him. I think everyone does and I don't think anyone should. Nothing but sending someone to hang out with him and be his personal guardian angel--if even that--was going to stop this unless Smitty stopped it himself. What I gave him probably enabled some bad behavior; what I didn't give him might've caused worse. I don't know and neither does anyone. But I'm sure that no one was trying to do him harm and no one should blame themselves for what happened. It's like Lou Reed says: What's good? Life's good. But not fair at all.
I know plenty of us tried being his guardian angel and spent a lot of time giving virtual hugs and cyber pep talks. Dozens of us sent him money. He always said he'd pay it back, but I told him not to worry about it. It was hard to cut him off, but I only did so after talking it over with other friends. We were all trying to do the best we could. I'm sorry it didn't turn out better, but I'm sorrier that there was apparently nothing any of us could do. None of it's our fault, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Beaverdam »

Today’s news is awful.

As happy as I will be to return to the 40 watt rail, it will feel so differently!

I have talked to one of our mutual friends about feelings of guilt over the death of our friend. I feel awfully for LaDonna and the kids, and I feel very sad regarding Smitty’s death.

I am not suggesting that we as a community should take a member’s death as an opportunity to collectively pat ourselves on the back, but I am sure that we did much to help Smitty, and I without a doubt know that he knew we cared!

I almost feel harsh in saying this, but some trains can’t be stopped. My heart hurts, and I pray for the best for the Smith family, but I believe that 3DD and it’s members genuinely tried to help Smitty.

Rest In Peace, my brother!!!!

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by beantownbubba »

cortez the killer wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 12:21 pm
Smitty's last post

Last active: Wed Oct 06, 2021 1:22 pm
Also, is this accurate? If so, damn.
Thanks for noticing this. It seems to me to likely be accurate. It would be totally like smitty to check in w/ or reach out to this community in some way as he was contemplating where life had brought him. This has nothing to do w/ whether he intended to die; i have no insight or knowledge into that but I'm sure he knew that at the very least he was tempting fate by succumbing to his addiction.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by beantownbubba »

scotto wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 4:25 pm
We were all trying to do the best we could. I'm sorry it didn't turn out better, but I'm sorrier that there was apparently nothing any of us could do. None of it's our fault, but that doesn't make it suck any less.
John A Arkansawyer wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 3:51 pm
I think everyone does and I don't think anyone should.
Beaverdam wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 5:51 pm
I believe that 3DD and it’s members genuinely tried to help Smitty.
The first thing my wife said to me when we heard the news was "you know there wasn't any more you could do, right?" And I answered unequivocally "yes." As horrible as I feel about Smitty's death and as much as I miss him already, I have absolutely no doubt that many of us as individuals and all of us as a community did everything we possibly could for him. As each of us works through this horrible time, please believe that. I may not know everything that everyone did for Smitty, but I know a lot of it, and it was a lot, financially and otherwise. It was definitely in the category of "things that make me proud to be a part of this strange and wonderful group" and I don't think any individual or any group could have done more or better. There's plenty of grief and regrets and might have beens and those sometimes hateful words, " unrealized potential," to go around without adding undeserved guilt to the mix. RIP, Smitty.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by beantownbubba »

Clams wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:13 pm
If you know any songs that he loved, let me know and I'll add them.
Smitty was passionate about Richmond Fontaine and Willy Vlautin. I know you've got some RF in the mix and I don't know either Willy's or the band's catalog well enough to make specific suggestions, but you can't go wrong w/ more of either one. Probably Todd Snider too.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

Swamp
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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Swamp »

Very sad news when I got home today.
RIP Smitty
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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Re: RIP Smitty

Post by Gang Green »

I haven’t posted in a while. But, this news hit home for me and reminded me how much I loved this forum. And, Smitty was one of those members who kept drawing me back to 3DD. Some of my best exchanges on 3DD were with him. He knew and understood music better, or most music, more than anyone I had come in contact with virtually and in person. As a Yank from Scarsdale, NY, I was totally jealous of the intellectual capacity of this Smitty guy from Alabama. I learned not to judge someone based on where they were from. Not, only was he a savant when it came to music, he was a great story teller, and he was always on point when discussing politics. When I started seeing the FB posts about not seeing his kids, I was disturbed, I was a big fan of his family. I loved both he and Ladonna’s posts. All I can say, Smitty, I wish I could have met you in person, and I’m sorry for not helping you out when you asked, even after you taught me some things.

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