Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

This forum is for talking about non-music-related stuff that the DBT fanbase might be interested in. This is not the place for inside jokes and BS. Take that crap to some other board.

Moderators: Jonicont, mark lynn, Maluca3, Tequila Cowboy, BigTom, CooleyGirl, olwiggum

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

The smack talk bar has been set pretty high. Lookin forward to this weeks rant.
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

From his bedroom in his parents basement, phungi wrote:LATE EVENING, MONDAY, FOLLOWING MNF. INTERIOR, LBRod’s HOUSE. NEWSPAPERS, FANTASY FOOTBALL DIGESTS, AND VAPE CARTRIDGES ARE STREWN ABOUT. THE MOVIE DIE HARD IS PLAYING ON THE TELEVISION. LBRod IS SLEEPING FITFULLY. WE ENTER HIS DREAM. IT IS A NIGHTMARE.

INT. LBRod’s MAN CAVE - NIGHT
Rod and his friend Bovine lean over a monitor watching the Yahoo Fantasy Football matchup, and flipping channels on the television

BOVINE (tapping the screen)
There's the Quarterback...he’s going to throw the ball.. But who are these guys in the fancy pajamas?

LBRod: That's the Rams and Saints… I’m expecting them to score a ton of points and destroy phungi's power. They're as regular as clockwork...or a time lock...

BOVINE looks skeptical:
LBRod: ...the team that cannot be beat... is defeated automatically in response through a high-scoring game...You ask for miracles, BOVINE...I give you the NFC...

BOVINE: When you're hot, you're hot.

CUT TO: LA RAMS STADIUM
As we saw on LBRod’s screen, the Rams and Saints are in a low-scoring game. A big SCOREBOARD is visible, numbers appearing where an ANNOUNCER rambles.

ANNOUNCER: The Rams are stopping Kamara, all down the line.

AUDIO/VIDEO BRIDGE: CUT TO: ATLANTA FALCONS/EAGLES GAME

ANNOUNCER: …stopping Freeman all down the line.

LBRod THROWS GIANT LEVERS. Inside his man cave, SPARKS SIZZLE and massive contacts CLUNK.

THE MATCHUP: One by one, all their numbers fall below projections.

CUT TO: MONDAY NIGHT

LBRod and BOVINE huddle over the computer monitor screen as if it was a warm fireplace. BOVINE points to the computer screen; all they can do is wait.

We SEE the score for Beckham Jr increase steadily. The lights go OFF. The computer screen stays ON. LBRod looks over at the scoreboard.



SCOREBOARD READOUT

"LBRod 118.97. phungi 131.30."

THE REST OF THE LEAGUE IS PRESENT. CLAMS, SILENT IN HIS OWN BLAME, SMACKS CLAMS JR. UPSIDE THE BACK OF THE HEAD

VOICE, INSIDE ALL THEIR HEADS

phungi: “yippie kay-a mother fuckers”

SCENE
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

LBRod
Posts: 4362
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:15 pm
Location: Beneath Pacheco Pass

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by LBRod »

37 points from defense and still a loss. I got nothing.
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

sitting on the shitter like ol' Trump, phungi wrote:Clams was irate. He should have been at work, and not dealing with this nonsense. Clams Jr. was confused, as should have been in class, and not dealing with this nonsense. However, here they were, in a car, "driving north" was all Clams would say. What follows is less of a conversation, and more of intermittent muttering, mostly by Clams.

CLAMS (muttering): "I give you the draft, I give you the roster, and this is how you show your thanks?!?"
CLAMS JR: "It's not THAT big of a deal, it's still early, we are only 3 games out of first"
CLAMS (still muttering): "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND"
CLAMS JR: "It's math, what's not to understand"
CLAMS: "It's not about the beer, it's not about the league, this was against Phil"
CLAMS JR: (silence)
CLAMS: "you fucking lost to phungi, with Sean McCoy on the bench"
CLAMS JR: "but following ESPN's algorithm, Jacobs had higher projected week 3 stats"
CLAMS: "didn't you learn ANYTHING during Andy Reid's tenure in Philly? He is going to go with whatever didn't work in the past"
CLAMS JR: "where we going anyway, fishing?"
CLAMS: "Connecticut"
CLAMS JR: "Connecticut? You do know I have classes"
CLAMS: "And I have work, but we gotta get out of town for a bit"
CLAMS JR: "Um, you are taking this fantasy football a bit too seriously"
CLAMS: "you know what's coming right? a Message Board post re-writing the script from A Few Good Men... YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE SCHATZ... I can't fucking take it
CLAMS JR: "is that a movie?"
CLAMS (interrupting): "or making one of those May-Mays"
CLAMS JR: "do mean Meme"
CLAMS: "May-May, Meeeeem, whatever, It's going to be awful"
CLAMS JR: "worse than driving to Connecticut? why Connecticut anyway?"
CLAMS: "I know a guy, he knows a lot about a few things"
CLAMS JR (deftly Googling with one hand, hiding his phone from Sr.): "Not that Bill guy, the one who almost died raking our leaves?!?"
CLAMS (back to muttering): he is a wealth of statistics.
CLAMS JR (still Googling): "un, this isn't the Neil Young Fantasy League, or the Pearl Jam Fantasy Setlist league"
CLAMS: "but Neil Young is from Canada, and they have the CFL there, and football is football"
CLAMS JR: (eyeing the door handle): "um, that's a GREAT idea dad" (quietly tries the handle, but sees the central lock has been activated
CLAMS (fiddling with Spotify) "ever listen to death metal?"

TO BE CONTINUED...
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

LBRod
Posts: 4362
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:15 pm
Location: Beneath Pacheco Pass

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by LBRod »

:D :D :D
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

User avatar
phungi
Posts: 840
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 11:40 am
Location: a little closer every day

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by phungi »

just noticed Bovine's subtle intros:
From up on his high horse, phungi wrote:
From his bedroom in his parents basement, phungi wrote:
sitting on the shitter like ol' Trump, phungi wrote:
:D
We got messed up minds for these messed up times...

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

phungi wrote:just noticed Bovine's subtle intros:
From up on his high horse, phungi wrote:
From his bedroom in his parents basement, phungi wrote:
sitting on the shitter like ol' Trump, phungi wrote:
:D
8-)
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

LBRod
Posts: 4362
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:15 pm
Location: Beneath Pacheco Pass

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by LBRod »

Looking forward to this week’s creative writing by Phungi now that he has tasted defeat.
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

Mr. B
Posts: 787
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:18 pm

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Mr. B »

LBRod wrote:Looking forward to this week’s creative writing by Phungi now that he has tasted defeat.
Well, I ain't no poet (and don't we all know it), but here is my contribution:

There once was a guy named Phungi
Who is now sitting at home muttering "oh my"
'Cuz undefeated was he after fantasy week 3
But then he got his butt kicked by Mr. B.

User avatar
Clams
Posts: 14850
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:16 pm
Location: City of Brotherly Love

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Clams »

Mr. B wrote:
LBRod wrote:Looking forward to this week’s creative writing by Phungi now that he has tasted defeat.
Well, I ain't no poet (and don't we all know it), but here is my contribution:

There once was a guy named Phungi
Who is now sitting at home muttering "oh my"
'Cuz undefeated was he after fantasy week 3
But then he got his butt kicked by Mr. B.
Good one Mr. B. And yes, nothing but crickets out of phungi this week.
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

Mr. B
Posts: 787
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:18 pm

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Mr. B »

Pretty damn close after 7 weeks -- 6 teams at 3-4 or 4-3, and one each at 5-2 and 2-5. Phungi continues dropping like a rock, while Clams continues his rise towards the top. Lots of football left, everybody still has a shot. I'm rooting for me.

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

Phungi's weekly commentary... (because it is too good not to share)

Week 1 - The Sham

Twas the first week of Football, when all through the league
Few hoped of winning, call it fatigue
The rosters were set, post-draft with care,
In hopes that the victory soon would be theirs.

The HeAthens lay soiled all snug in their beds,
While visions of six-packs danced in their heads.
With the losers all paying, who’d give a crap,
Just give me fine lager, and a sweet winter’s nap.

When Monday awoke there arose such a clatter,
They all grabbed their phones to see what was the matter.
Up in the standings, phungi rose like a flash,
Tore up their high hopes and stole their hop stash.

Despite Mayfield-Beckham’s disastrous show
phungi stared down the standings, at the huge mess below.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But sad list of posers, all silent, in fear

Perhaps a wire waiver, they’ll tried to be quick,
They’ll learn from experience that phungi’s a dick.
More rapid than DeSean to his roster they’ll come,
While phungi postures and calls them all dumb.

"Now, Saquon! now, Cooper! now, Mixon and Engram!
On, Odell! On, Mayfield! on, Wil Lutz and Ekeler!
To the top of the standings! to the top of it all!
Now dash all their hopes! Dash away all!"

phungi sprang to his keyboard, to his league gave the finger,
Dropped a fart that he hoped in their minds it would linger.
They heard him exclaim, while seeing their teams were a sham,
“Fuck all you HeAthens, don’t blame me, just blame Clams"


Week 2 - Upside the Head

LATE EVENING, MONDAY, FOLLOWING MNF. INTERIOR, LBRod’s HOUSE. NEWSPAPERS, FANTASY FOOTBALL DIGESTS, AND VAPE CARTRIDGES ARE STREWN ABOUT. THE MOVIE DIE HARD IS PLAYING ON THE TELEVISION. LBRod IS SLEEPING FITFULLY. WE ENTER HIS DREAM. IT IS A NIGHTMARE.

INT. LBRod’s MAN CAVE - NIGHT
Rod and his friend Bovine lean over a monitor watching the Yahoo Fantasy Football matchup, and flipping channels on the television

BOVINE (tapping the screen)
There's the Quarterback...he’s going to throw the ball.. But who are these guys in the fancy pajamas?

LBRod: That's the Rams and Saints… I’m expecting them to score a ton of points and destroy phungi's power. They're as regular as clockwork...or a time lock...

BOVINE looks skeptical:
LBRod: ...the team that cannot be beat... is defeated automatically in response through a high-scoring game...You ask for miracles, BOVINE...I give you the NFC...

BOVINE: When you're hot, you're hot.

CUT TO: LA RAMS STADIUM
As we saw on LBRod’s screen, the Rams and Saints are in a low-scoring game. A big SCOREBOARD is visible, numbers appearing where an ANNOUNCER rambles.

ANNOUNCER: The Rams are stopping Kamara, all down the line.

AUDIO/VIDEO BRIDGE: CUT TO: ATLANTA FALCONS/EAGLES GAME

ANNOUNCER: …stopping Freeman all down the line.

LBRod THROWS GIANT LEVERS. Inside his man cave, SPARKS SIZZLE and massive contacts CLUNK.

THE MATCHUP: One by one, all their numbers fall below projections.

CUT TO: MONDAY NIGHT

LBRod and BOVINE huddle over the computer monitor screen as if it was a warm fireplace. BOVINE points to the computer screen; all they can do is wait.

We SEE the score for Beckham Jr increase steadily. The lights go OFF. The computer screen stays ON. LBRod looks over at the scoreboard.



SCOREBOARD READOUT

"LBRod 118.97. phungi 131.30."

THE REST OF THE LEAGUE IS PRESENT. CLAMS, SILENT IN HIS OWN BLAME, SMACKS CLAMS JR. UPSIDE THE BACK OF THE HEAD

VOICE, INSIDE ALL THEIR HEADS

phungi: “yippie kay-a mother fuckers”

SCENE


Week 3 - The Road Trip Begins

Clams was irate. He should have been at work, and not dealing with this nonsense. Clams Jr. was confused, as should have been in class, and not dealing with this nonsense. However, here they were, in a car, "driving north" was all Clams would say. What follows is less of a conversation, and more of intermittent muttering, mostly by Clams.

CLAMS (muttering): "I give you the draft, I give you the roster, and this is how you show your thanks?!?"
CLAMS JR: "It's not THAT big of a deal, it's still early, we are only 3 games out of first"
CLAMS (still muttering): "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND"
CLAMS JR: "It's math, what's not to understand"
CLAMS: "It's not about the beer, it's not about the league, this was against Phil"
CLAMS JR: (silence)
CLAMS: "you fucking lost to phungi, with Sean McCoy on the bench"
CLAMS JR: "but following ESPN's algorithm, Jacobs had higher projected week 3 stats"
CLAMS: "didn't you learn ANYTHING during Andy Reid's tenure in Philly? He is going to go with whatever didn't work in the past"
CLAMS JR: "where we going anyway, fishing?"
CLAMS: "Connecticut"
CLAMS JR: "Connecticut? You do know I have classes"
CLAMS: "And I have work, but we gotta get out of town for a bit"
CLAMS JR: "Um, you are taking this fantasy football a bit too seriously"
CLAMS: "you know what's coming right? a Message Board post re-writing the script from A Few Good Men... YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE SCHATZ... I can't fucking take it
CLAMS JR: "is that a movie?"
CLAMS (interrupting): "or making one of those May-Mays"
CLAMS JR: "do mean Meme"
CLAMS: "May-May, Meeeeem, whatever, It's going to be awful"
CLAMS JR: "worse than driving to Connecticut? why Connecticut anyway?"
CLAMS: "I know a guy, he knows a lot about a few things"
CLAMS JR (deftly Googling with one hand, hiding his phone from Sr.): "Not that Bill guy, the one who almost died raking our leaves?!?"
CLAMS (back to muttering): he is a wealth of statistics.
CLAMS JR (still Googling): "un, this isn't the Neil Young Fantasy League, or the Pearl Jam Fantasy Setlist league"
CLAMS: "but Neil Young is from Canada, and they have the CFL there, and football is football"
CLAMS JR: (eyeing the door handle): "um, that's a GREAT idea dad" (quietly tries the handle, but sees the central lock has been activated
CLAMS (fiddling with Spotify) "ever listen to death metal?"

TO BE CONTINUED...


Week 4 - A Friend, Indeed

Note: All characters and events depicted in this film are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

(somewhere in North America)
Clams Jr. had settled in nicely, adjusting to “road trip life”… he had moved to the back seat, and was previously laying low, hoodie up, AirPods in. He was not looking forward to picking up passengers, but the unexpected stop to pick up Uncle Ricky quickly led to “back seat sippin”. The fact that his dad’s friends each brought enough beer to allow near-constant consumption, combined with a win under his belt, he felt somewhat vindicated. He was even becoming less freaked out by the mullet when the car suddenly stopped.

BILL: Hey Clams, how’s it going. Did you hear Cerebral Rot opened with “Reeking Septic Mass” for the 37th straight time, dating back to 2015? (Looking around) Hey Luke, Hey Clams Jr. Where we headed?

CLAMS (having rehearsed this line) “Surprise Pop-up Neil Young Show, location undisclosed yet, so secret it isn’t even on Thrasher’s Wheat, hop in.

(on the open road, Uncle Ricky and Clams Jr are in the back seat. The floor is 6” deep in empty cans and bottles. Clams Jr is swigging and nodding)

BILL: well, Ty Long is a punter for the Chargers, so he isn’t likely to score for you, but Brett Maher is kicking for the Cowboys and he had a 78% accuracy with the Ottawa Redblacks.

CLAMS JR (interrupting, belch-talking, looking at the standings): We’re one and threeeeeeeeee

UNCLE RICKY (interrupting, belch-talking, mimicking Bill): Hey Clams Jr., (looking at Clams Jr’s phone) did you know that phungi is still tied for the leeeeeeeead?

BILL (continuing the belch talk): Hey Clams Jr, did you know this week you play Bovine Knieeeeeeeeevel (he stops suddenly, as the burp is cut-off)

CLAMS (disgusted): I thought these Northern California guys were just slacker stoners, but (joining in) him and LB are in the leeeeeeeead

BILL (regaining his confidence): Hey Clams, did you know that tinnitus is still the reigning champ, and he is from the Northeeeeeeeeeeast?

CLAMS: Speaking of Massachusetts, don’t they have legal weeeeeeeeeeed?

CLAMS JR: He’s also 1 and 3 and plays phungi this week. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

CLAMS EYES A SIGN THAT READS “I-84 MASS”, UNCLE RICKY TAPS BEER CANS WITH CLAMS JR, BILL JUST IS BILL

CLAMS: phungi is probably licking his wounds, and we don’t meet up again until week 10, but we need all the help we can get. (TAKING THE EXIT) Massachusetts, here we come.

CLAMS, CLAMS JR, UNCLE RICKEY (belch talking) “A friend with weed is a friend”

BILL (loudly, belch talking) “INDEEEEEEEEEEEE-” (an ominous gurgling noise stops the joyous singing). THE CAR TURNS SILENT

…to be continued


Week 5 - The Quest Continues

[SOMEWHERE IN MASSACHUSETTS, OUTDOORS, PARKING LOT]

Clams was checking his mental “Things To Do With Jr Bucket List”, and never imagined “Getting Kicked Out of Hooters” would ever make the list. He also never imagined Jr attempting make a bong out of a Converse Chuck Taylor, but here he was. Sitting on a concrete parking stopper, he felt some kinship with the normal American refuse scattered on the asphalt. What follows is punctuated by the intermittent sound of a camera shutter, from Tinnitus circling the scene and providing single-word and short phrases.

CLAMS: This was supposed to be “our week” but 12 points to a kicker?

TINNITUS: Don’t forget Lockett (click)

CLAMS: Down 25 before Sunday (sighs)

CLAMS Jr. (wearing a tight Hooters tank): Why do they put these holes in the side?

TINNITUS (click): What about phungi?

CLAMS: Fuck, why did I ever turn him onto the Truckers.

TINNITUS: Brady out (click), Wilson in (click), last minute (click), fucker

CLAMS Jr. (face in sneaker, voice muffled): I got the hole cut, but if we don’t stop this water, there IS no bong.

BILL: Hey Clams Jr. If you plug up the holes with cigarette butts, you might stop the leak.

UNCLE RICKY: If we are going to be here a while, I think I can arrange some sort of porch.

CLAMS: Tinnitus, enough with the photos. You were supposed to stop him this week.

TINNITUS: It’s ok, Clams, I have 3 players with Q’s next to there name, and you know what that means?

CLAMS Jr: Quantum cluster fuck? (handing sneaker to Bill)

BILL: Hey, Tinnitus, did you know that quadrophonic sound did in the 70’s only to come back as surround sound?

CLAMS: sounds like one Q short of quadriplegia (surveying this mess).

UNCLE RICKY (sipping): Quixotically, we are on a quest, and I know just the knight you need (raised eyebrow to Clams)

CLAMS (smelling what the Luke is cooking): Here’s what we are going to do (first takes sneaker from Jr, amazed to see it works), he pauses, Bill: how far to Iowa?

[TO BE CONTINUED]


Week 6 - ... Morning After

(Southeastern Pennsylvania, cluttered desk, we only see fingers-to-keyboard. Maureen McGovern’s “There’s Got to Be a Morning After”, the theme song to The Poseidon Adventure, is playing in an endless loop. During the brief 2-second pause between plays, we hear muffled sobbing, intermixed with the sound of typing).


Meanwhile in Ohio, our gang of merry men are traveling west on I-90 towards Iowa. The level of merriment is somewhat subdued, as Clams (and thus, Clams Jr) have lost this week, but Tinnitus has won, earning them both a 2-4 ranking. Arch-villian phungi may have lost, but he was still tied for the lead at 4-2, while appearing to fade fast. Make-believe football management, however, had taken a back seat to the trading-in of the vehicle. Knowing the group was growing, it was inevitable. What couldn’t be expected was the choice of vehicle. Clams Jr. had hoped for an RV, Clams was thinking “VW van” (like in Field of Dreams), but Bill won out by repeating “Mystery Machine” over and over again, until Uncle Ricky found a complete replica online and nearby. The sneaker-bong may have also played a role, but Bill was now speaking as Scooby-Doo, and Clams Jr. was baiting him on asking “Scooby want a Scooby Snack?”


Clams, festering and annoyed, tried to tune all this out, hoping Iowa paid off, when he suddenly heard an odd voice saying “if he builds it, he’ll be dumb”, and vowed to detox for a while. He looked over at Uncle Ricky who was working on a contraption that would tilt beer cans into his mouth allowing gravity to deliver him beer effortlessly, when Ricky looked back at him and said “who you calling dumb”? Unsure what to say, Clams heard “freeze his brain”, and he decided he had had enough, so he pulled over outside Toledo, to stretch his legs, get some ice cream, and find a place to crash. Walking down the street he noticed a movie theater with “The Godfather” on the marquis, and a 72 Mustang parked outside with a “Re-Elect Nixon” sticker. He shook his head, re-vowed to detox for a while, and noticed a somewhat short elderly gentleman walking towards him in red knee-high go-go boots.


“Excuse me” Clams said, “I’m on my way to Iowa, are you Doctor Contovasilis?” The gentleman replied “No one’s called me Contovasilis in decades, I’m Jonicont.” In stunned silence, Clams says nothing. All we hear is Bill: “Ronny-Ront, Riowa”


(to be continued)


Week 7 - Free Falling

(somewhere in Michigan)


The traveling dingleberry’s made a right turn in Indiana, adding Mr. B to the van of happy campers. At least a few were happy, but Mr. B took one on the chin at the expense of Clams, who, along with Jr, was celebrating a rare one-week winning streak. Jr. was in the back of the van, chatting it up with Mr. Cont, although he was now referred to a “Ronny-Ront” due to Bill’s ongoing impersonation of Scooby Doo. Interestingly, we had heard very little from Uncle Ricky, likely due to the successful creation of his effortless beer consumption machine, who had yet to abandon the burp-talking, so “Roneeeee Ront” was his go-to line.



Clams Jr had hoped to gain some valuable information from the good Dr, but was very confused by the terms “starters” and “relievers” and “DH”, as Jon peppered Jr with free agents to pick up. Jr was frantically searching through the league for players names Gleyber Torres, and Giovanny Urshela until Bill leaned over and whispered “Rankees, Raserall” and Clams Jr resumed his distain for the baby-boomer generation went back to his millennial all-day wake-and-bake.

Like Jr, the anticipation of Iowa was still high, as was the ultimate destination, the West Coast, LBRod, and Northern California, which, in his 3-4 state and the Eagles SNF collapse, Clams referred to as Melancholy World. Tinnitus was rather sullen, as well, putting up a league-low 44 this week, but if there was one unifying theme in the Mystery Machine, it was a celebration of the demise of phungi. Once 4-1, he was 0-2 and fading, looking like the league’s version of Mr. B’s Wolverines and Lions, who were also 0-1 and 0-3, respectively. Week 8 was going to be telling, but for now, the gang was in a celebratory mood.



Passing through Illinois, en route to the state of Iowa, many questions lingered. Who was this mystery ace-in-the-hole living in Iowa, would phungi win another game, is the pork tenderloin sandwich at the Iowa State Fair really bigger than the bun, would Marty Noose finally bring this all to an end in Melancholy World, and why would anyone still be reading this?



All questions faded away, as Uncle Ricky turned up the music, and we hear the beginning of Tom Petty’s “Free Falling” came on.



[CUT TO] Clams: “hey guys, it’s phungi’s theme song”

FREE FALLING continues on the van stereo. Like the scene in Almost Famous, but substituting for Tiny Dancer, Clams sits up front, wearing an Eagles jersey alone and silent. The others have given him a wide berth. He feels silly, and they know it, and he hates that they know it, which makes him feel foolish. He sits silently. Tinnitus watches him from the back, next to Bill. He yawns. The song's chorus begins. There is only more silence. Then, after a beat, we hear a voice or two, Clams Jr, and John, fighting the quiet and singing along. Then others...... joining in. Everyone but bill. Clams hears them and starts to sing along too, louder now, without turning around. It's a voice everyone wants to hear. Like it or not, this is his family. Clams give a signal and deftly turns down the volume just as the next chorus kicks in, and we hear only Bill: “REEEEE, REE-RALLIN”



(to be continued)
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

User avatar
tinnitus photography
Posts: 7251
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:49 pm
Contact:

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by tinnitus photography »

i sucked ass this week... you know you are in for a rough week when your tight end is your high scorer.


unreal that NE Def is the 7th highest points FFL player right now.

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

tinnitus photography wrote:i sucked ass this week... you know you are in for a rough week when your tight end is your high scorer.


unreal that NE Def is the 7th highest points FFL player right now.
It was a rough week across the board. I have another league that I am in and we saw record low point totals there as well.
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

User avatar
Clams
Posts: 14850
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:16 pm
Location: City of Brotherly Love

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Clams »

A front office snafu resulted in Teddy Bridgewater starting over Carson Wentz yesterday. Cost me the game. :o :oops: :x
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

User avatar
rlipps
Posts: 1664
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 5:02 pm

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by rlipps »

Clams wrote:A front office snafu resulted in Teddy Bridgewater starting over Carson Wentz yesterday. Cost me the game. :o :oops: :x
I appreciate it, I need all the help I can get lol

Mr. B
Posts: 787
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:18 pm

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Mr. B »

Clams wrote:A front office snafu resulted in Teddy Bridgewater starting over Carson Wentz yesterday. Cost me the game. :o :oops: :x
It's time you give in to Jr's contract demands and get him back in charge.

User avatar
tinnitus photography
Posts: 7251
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:49 pm
Contact:

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by tinnitus photography »

holy crap i can't believe i squeaked out a win by 2 pts last night... Sorry Mr B's Bombers! my RBs came to play!

User avatar
Clams
Posts: 14850
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:16 pm
Location: City of Brotherly Love

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Clams »

Mr. B wrote:
Clams wrote:A front office snafu resulted in Teddy Bridgewater starting over Carson Wentz yesterday. Cost me the game. :o :oops: :x
It's time you give in to Jr's contract demands and get him back in charge.
Not to throw anyone under the bus but he's the one who activated Bridgewater and then forgot to bench him when Brees was named the starter. Too many cooks.
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

User avatar
Sterling Bigmouth
Posts: 656
Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:10 pm
Location: Tennessee

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Sterling Bigmouth »

Gotta love not waking up in time to set your lineup before these stupid London games :x
Turn it up to 10 and rip off the knob

User avatar
phungi
Posts: 840
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 11:40 am
Location: a little closer every day

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by phungi »

Sterling Bigmouth wrote:Gotta love not waking up in time to set your lineup before these stupid London games :x
Happens to the best of ‘em... or, in my case, the most mediocre of ‘em...
We got messed up minds for these messed up times...

User avatar
Clams
Posts: 14850
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:16 pm
Location: City of Brotherly Love

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Clams »

Sterling Bigmouth wrote:Gotta love not waking up in time to set your lineup before these stupid London games :x
Thank you very much
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

User avatar
Jonicont
Site Admin
Posts: 3703
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 6:33 pm
Location: Marvin,NC

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by Jonicont »

Inadvertently clicked on this. What a hoot. Who knew. Ronny-Ront :lol: :lol: :lol: . Brilliant
Always go to the show

LBRod
Posts: 4362
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:15 pm
Location: Beneath Pacheco Pass

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by LBRod »

Jonicont wrote:Inadvertently clicked on this. What a hoot. Who knew. Ronny-Ront :lol: :lol: :lol: . Brilliant
:D :D
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

The infamous shoe bong!

Image
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

LBRod
Posts: 4362
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:15 pm
Location: Beneath Pacheco Pass

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by LBRod »

bovine knievel wrote:The infamous shoe bong!

Image
I'd hit that.
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

User avatar
phungi
Posts: 840
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 11:40 am
Location: a little closer every day

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by phungi »

bovine knievel wrote:The infamous shoe bong!
I believe that is a "reaker rong"...
We got messed up minds for these messed up times...

User avatar
bovine knievel
Posts: 9348
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:40 pm
Location: Pollyanna doesn't live here.

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by bovine knievel »

phungi wrote:
bovine knievel wrote:The infamous shoe bong!
I believe that is a "reaker rong"...
Should be the 3DD Fantasy Football League trophy. 8-)
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

LBRod
Posts: 4362
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 8:15 pm
Location: Beneath Pacheco Pass

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by LBRod »

Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

User avatar
tinnitus photography
Posts: 7251
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:49 pm
Contact:

Re: Neverending & in perpetuity 3dd Fantasy Football thread

Post by tinnitus photography »

battle of the lightweights as i take on Clams for the battle over last place.

Post Reply