Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

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Swamp
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Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Swamp »

1. Francis or Mr. Ed?
2. And why?
3. Diablo/Loco or Silver/Scout
4. And why?
5. What is the posible connection between Trigger and Cooley?
*at the risk of being ignored by another woman :D
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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PonyGirl
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by PonyGirl »

I haven’t really been able to come around here lately, so when the Bubbinator reached out to tell me that Swamp had created a list of questions for me, I was like, “For real? That is both a challenge and an honour, which should not and will not be taken lightly. Nor will it be forsaken. I must return to 3dd with quickness!” (And Swamp, don’t play that false modesty card. I know you’ve never been ignored by a woman in your life!)

This was an exercise in self-improvement for me. A lot of these questions refer to events that occurred before my time so I had to google almost everything. I learned a lot. And it made me feel young, which almost never happens anymore! Mostly I just hear myself saying things like, “Really? You’ve never heard of Gilligan’s Island or WKRP? You’ve got some living to do kid!”

Without further ado:

1. I like both Francis and Mr. Ed a lot, so this was tough, but I finally settled on Francis.
2. Francis won out for the following reasons.
a. While horses are my favourite thing ever and are so funny in their own right, mules still have the comedic edge; mules are hilarious
b. Francis has better outfits for the most part
c. I think blondes are overrated
3. Diablo/Loco
4. I had to do some googling for this and again, they all look like nice horses, but I found a pic of Bob Wills riding Diablo. Diablo carted around the King of Texas Swing; there’s nothing more to say.
5. Trigger and Cooley? More googling was required for this. Everyone knows that after Trigger died, Roy Rogers sent him off to the taxidermist and had him stuffed. A few years ago, he was auctioned off for over 266,000 USD (that’s real money where I come from)! I figure that DBT took inspiration from this and have now commissioned an anatomically correct “Real Doll Companion” in Cooley’s image, to be auctioned off for Nuci’s next year. I also think Trigger might be a role model for Cooley in terms of hair goals.

Thanks Swamp! :D
His facial expression is terrifying. He's basically the equine Chucky.

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Rocky
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Rocky »

PonyGirl wrote:I figure that DBT took inspiration from this and have now commissioned an anatomically correct “Real Doll Companion” in Cooley’s image, to be auctioned off for Nuci’s next year. I also think Trigger might be a role model for Cooley in terms of hair goals.
:lol:
By the time you drop them I'll be gone
And you'll be right where they fall the rest of your life

Swamp
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Swamp »

Thank you PonyGirl!
1. You have disproved my theory on women and questions.
2. After the morning news started making my coffee taste funny I started watching the Cisco Kid about 2 months ago. That was all I knew about Diablo. Your answer inspired me to google him. What a amazing horse. 8-)
3. For not knowing the answer to the last question.
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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PonyGirl
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by PonyGirl »

1. Always happy to disprove a theory. Especially one about women.
2. Maybe I will start watching the Cisco Kid (So many broadened horizons from this exercise!)
3. Judging from your comment, it seems that the real answer is even weirder and creepier than mine. Wow!
4. Hijacking someone else's question, I've met Elvis Costello. He's very kind and charming but I was too intimidated to talk with him for very long. I don't intimidate easily, but he's a very big deal to me and I was pretty young when I met him.
His facial expression is terrifying. He's basically the equine Chucky.

Swamp
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Swamp »

PonyGirl wrote: 2. Maybe I will start watching the Cisco Kid (So many broadened horizons from this exercise!)
"Oh PonyGirl" :D
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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PonyGirl
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by PonyGirl »

Weirdly and coincidentally having to do with themes of horses + Cooley + perversion, I read this today.

To contextualize, I will just say that there is a farm in Ireland where amazingly talented event horses are bred and these horses are called Cooley sport horses. They are everywhere in the sport of eventing. If you happened to be an event rider who didn't want to think about Cooley, you would have your work cut out for you. In fact the entry list for the Kentucky Horse Trials, the biggest event in North America, was just published and there are 3 Cooley horses running.

So anyway, today I was looking at Canadian Horse Sport Magazine, a publication of which most of you are familiar, I'm sure (haha), and I came upon this gem.

https://horse-canada.com/horse-news/sto ... -ful-life/

It seems that Ms. Stormy Daniels is an event rider and she has a Cooley horse. :)

This means that there are photos with captions that read, "Stormy Daniels riding her Cooley, " which really, really made me laugh. I thought people here might appreciate that. I thought Cooley might appreciate that.



There are several morals to this story, some of which include, "the most fun girls are event riders" and "hush money really comes in handy if you are involved in equestrian sports..."
His facial expression is terrifying. He's basically the equine Chucky.

John A Arkansawyer
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

This is the most obvious place to ask this: I'm taking my kid to see a friend in an equestrian show in Texas tomorrow. We'll be there all day. I'd thought at first it was a rodeo, which I know how to behave at, but this is a new one for me. What should I expect? What sort of crowd?
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

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Flea
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Flea »

John A Arkansawyer wrote:This is the most obvious place to ask this: I'm taking my kid to see a friend in an equestrian show in Texas tomorrow. We'll be there all day. I'd thought at first it was a rodeo, which I know how to behave at, but this is a new one for me. What should I expect? What sort of crowd?
Pretension, entitlement, and boredom.
Now it's dark.

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Flea
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Flea »

Flea wrote:
John A Arkansawyer wrote:This is the most obvious place to ask this: I'm taking my kid to see a friend in an equestrian show in Texas tomorrow. We'll be there all day. I'd thought at first it was a rodeo, which I know how to behave at, but this is a new one for me. What should I expect? What sort of crowd?
Pretension, entitlement, and boredom.
And I will argue until my dying breath that the Oxford Comma is appropriate.
Now it's dark.

John A Arkansawyer
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

Flea wrote:
John A Arkansawyer wrote:This is the most obvious place to ask this: I'm taking my kid to see a friend in an equestrian show in Texas tomorrow. We'll be there all day. I'd thought at first it was a rodeo, which I know how to behave at, but this is a new one for me. What should I expect? What sort of crowd?
Pretension, entitlement, and boredom.
You have clearly never gone to an equestrian event in East Texas.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

John A Arkansawyer
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

John A Arkansawyer wrote:
Flea wrote:
John A Arkansawyer wrote:This is the most obvious place to ask this: I'm taking my kid to see a friend in an equestrian show in Texas tomorrow. We'll be there all day. I'd thought at first it was a rodeo, which I know how to behave at, but this is a new one for me. What should I expect? What sort of crowd?
Pretension, entitlement, and boredom.
You have clearly never gone to an equestrian event in East Texas.
Which turns out to involve equestrian drill and trick riding. It's like half a rodeo. I wouldn't've been surprised to see barrel racing--my kid's friend does that, too--but no. It was a blast to go to! No seriously injured horses, and only one human contestant medivac'd out on a helicopter. They're probably finishing up the pins and plates right about now*. She made an error on her first run at a trick ride--possibly due to bad judgement on the part whoever was stage managing down on the arena floor--and ended up with a compound fracture of the leg. While she was lying on the ground waiting for the helicopter, she took the microphone and entertained the crowd. Possibly she was riding a Cooley horse, or maybe she has Cooley blood in her. Either way, she wanted pictures of the bone sticking out. And of course she won the Spirit award for the event.

I'd forgotten how much I love the smell of hay and horseshit. That stock barn smell takes me back to being a kid and hanging with my dad. If mine wants to come back and do this again next year, I'm game!

*When I wrote this, then lost the wifi connection. This was my first good chance to post this.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

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PonyGirl
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by PonyGirl »

Equestrian competitions are kinda like concerts; there's a loooot of different kinds...

Sounds like you went to a fun one and had a good time, which is great. Horses are fun and funny and humbling.

Those Cooley horses are bred for eventing primarily, are pretty steep in price and you have to go to Ireland to get one, so it's doubtful that girl was riding one. She sounds like a funny, gutsy girl though, which are actually pretty common qualities among horse girls.

Now to address pretension, entitlement, and boredom.

Dear Flea,

Sounds like you really know what your talking about. Doesn't sound at all like you're still not over the fact that no cute, horse girls would acknowledge your existence in high school (Let it go, Buddy. You'll feel so much better.).

I'm an eventer. There's a lot to do and it's really dangerous. For horseshows, we horse girls work till like 1am the night before and get up at 4am the day of, to prep and load horses, walk the show jumping course, walk the cross country course, memorize the dressage test, do the warm-ups, do the competition and spend hours on horse care; like walking them out, hosing them down, scraping the water off them and hosing them down again, fetching water, which is really fucking heavy, fetching hay, rubbing them down, wrapping their legs, shoveling shit, putting their equipment on and taking it off and putting it on again... It's never fucking ending, so we're actually too busy to be pretentious. We're usually all just bunch of sweaty, gross messes. We might have a chance to be pretentious if we had grooms to do stuff, but my friends don't have enough money for that...

Which brings me to the entitlement segment of our program. All I ever wanted, my whole life, more than anything, was my own competition horse. I wanted it more than a husband, children, real estate, everything. And I finally got my little, discount horse when I was 47 years old. I was able to afford him because it the words of one of my trainers, "He's kind of a dick eh..." But he's mine and I love him, even though sometimes he really scares me. But he's all I could afford and he's never put me in the hospital (unlike the guy who told me last year, "Let me get on. I'm going to fix him for you.") Anyway, in order to be able to afford him, I work between 50 and 60 hours a week at a job that murders my soul every second I'm at it. And over and above that I have to do barn chores on the side to keep costs down. So yeah... I don't take particularly kindly to being called entitled.

As for boredom, I don't fucking care if it's boring for people. They can stay home then. I've got too much to do to worry about how exciting the event is for other people. And being busy is for the best, because when I'm not busy at the horseshow, I spend a lot of time vacillating between trying not to cry or throw up or both and wondering myself why I'm so passionate about this sport that terrifies me so much. Last year one of the top riders in the world successfully bought one of those Cooley horses for 500,000 pounds sterling (a real lot of $$$$), through crowd funding. He was on top of the world then, but less than a year later, as a result of a miscalculation at a cross country jump, he's been in a coma for the last 2 weeks. Nobody cares if you're bored. We just want to get through the day.

I hope you've enjoyed this "teachable moment." Please feel free to reciprocate by teaching me about Stoned Dungeons and Dragons and being president of the Jay and Silent Bob Fan Club or whatever the fuck it is you're interested in.

Love always,

PonyGirl xx
His facial expression is terrifying. He's basically the equine Chucky.

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Flea
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by Flea »

Deep breaths.
Now it's dark.

John A Arkansawyer
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Re: Equidae questions for PonyGirl*

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

PonyGirl wrote:Those Cooley horses are bred for eventing primarily, are pretty steep in price and you have to go to Ireland to get one, so it's doubtful that girl was riding one. She sounds like a funny, gutsy girl though, which are actually pretty common qualities among horse girls.
What I was thinking was this: If a DBT festival show had to be ended because Cooley broke his leg and he had to lie there for an hour, getting on the microphone and entertaining the crowd in the meantime would be a very Cooley thing to do.
PonyGirl wrote:Now to address pretension, entitlement, and boredom.
I was certainly worried I might end up at something like that. I'm as vulnerable to stereotypes as anyone, and I'm sure there are people it fits. But since the world kind of sucks right now, I am determined to wring what enjoyment I can out of it. That means going into things I don't always get with an open attitude toward them. I could have focused on the guy we pulled in next to. He had an old truck with a For Sale sign in the back window. His left bumper had a confederate flag on it (only one I saw); his right bumper had those reflective letters you use to put up your street address spelling out "SHOW ME YOUR TITS". Never ran into him that I know of, but I was willing to show him mine. They're real, and they're spectacular, as man-titties go. Still kinda perky, in fact. But I digress. This was a down-home event in a small county fairground show barn, and the kid and I had a great time. I wouldn't do it every week; I would do it every year.

I have to add this, though: Some of the high-speed close-order drill was downright scary to watch. I was convinced a couple of times there were going to be collisions. I'm glad I didn't see the serious injury happen. (The trick riding didn't scare me like the drill did, yet there's where it happened, so what do I know.) I respect that sort of skill and guts in anyone. I mean, they flew her out to get surgery quick in part because she's got a major competition coming up in September.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

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