The Lap-Dance Tax

LET'S GIVE CITY HALL credit for ingenuity.

After failing to drive up taxes on soda and smokes, the creative geniuses slipped a hootchy-kootchy tax under the radar.

The form of interpersonal social contact known as the lap dance is subject to the city's 5 percent amusement tax. Who knew? Not the "gentlemen's clubs," apparently.

To some, the tax is a stroke of genius, but it's rubbing the clubs the wrong way. To lawyer George Bochetto, it is "financial desperation" and the city trying to tax the same thing twice. Bochetto represents Club Risque and Cheerleaders, two of the clubs squirming under a new tax burden.

According to appeal petitions, Cheerleaders owes $486,482 and Club Risque owes $320,538. The city audited the lap-dance encounters, "then issued an assessment going back five years," plus interest and penalties, Bochetto says, stripping away the verbiage. "It's over the top. Unbelievable."

Full article here: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/20130 ... e_tax.html

the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.

tinnitus photography wrote:fuggin' Packers fans...

Clams wrote:

Clams wrote:'Swiss Cheese Pervert' Terrorizes Mayfair

the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/20140 ... yfair.html

tinnitus photography wrote:http://www.phillymag.com/news/2014/01/11/norristowns-swiss-cheese-pervert/

Pagano's neighbors were not surprised to learn of his arrest.

"He's creepy," said Rae Dean, who lives a few houses away from Pagano. "He'll come outside with his underwear on. One time he came outside carrying a gun with just his underwear on."

* * *

A 14-year-old who lives next door to Pagano said he's seen him walking around naked in that unfenced back yard, often with his daughter nearby.

* * *

Records show that yesterday's arrest wasn't Pagano's first, nor was it the first time cheese played a role in his late-night activities.

In 2006, Pagano was arrested by two undercover Norristown police officers during a prostitution sting after offering them "$20 to wrap Swiss cheese around [his] penis and masturbate him," according to an affidavit obtained by the Daily News.

Three years later, a Norristown woman told police Pagano accosted her in the wee hours of the morning on Airy Street, not far from Pagano's home. He produced a block of Swiss cheese and offered her $20 to rub it on his penis, according to the affidavit in that incident.

In both cases, Pagano was charged with criminal solicitation and disorderly conduct. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and the solicitation charges were dismissed, court records show.

* * *

Elsewhere in the Northeast Philly neighborhood, the staff of the Grey Lodge Pub celebrated Pagano's arrest in their own way.

The eatery's latest special is the "Swiss Cheese Pervert," a grilled Swiss cheese sandwich with prosciutto and caramelized onions.

"Luckily, this is a crime that is funny and not one that is really awful," said restaurant owner Mike Scotese.

"We ought to be able to celebrate the absurdity of this."

Clams wrote:And no way would I eat one of those sandwiches.

pearlysnaps wrote:I can't believe he used Swiss and not monterey Jack.

Tequila Cowboy wrote:

pearlysnaps wrote:I can't believe he used Swiss and not monterey Jack.

Clams wrote:

Tequila Cowboy wrote:

pearlysnaps wrote:I can't believe he used Swiss and not monterey Jack.

The holes in the swiss make it very convenient to.... oh nevermind.

Clams wrote:

Tequila Cowboy wrote:

pearlysnaps wrote:I can't believe he used Swiss and not monterey Jack.

The holes in the swiss make it very convenient to.... oh nevermind.

RolanK wrote:Oh that's right. Forgot it's KRAFT food. That's like the GE of foods isn't it? Sometime they change the name of a otherwise similar product to suit the different markets and avoid unfortunate associations, so I guess it was still a valid question.