3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
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3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
I reconsidered Rev Matt's suggestion that I interview Cortez. It did take a few days, but my people and Cortez's were finally able to establish ground rules and permissible areas of questioning for the interview. Here's how it went...
Me: So Cortez, how's it going?
Cortez: Great clammer! Let's get this party started!
Me: Okay, here we go. First question. Uncle Tupe or Son Volt?
Cortez: Tupe who? Son what? These days it's all Death Cab, all the time...
Me: Boxers or briefs?
Cortez: As I get older, Clams, I've found that a little more support goes a long way. So I've been going with these:
Me: LJ or Zip?
Cortez: Black Canary
Me: Decoration Day or SRO?
Cortez: Punk all the way, Clams.
Me: Where do you find time to listen to all that music?
Cortez: I have special sideline headphones that allow me hear the other coaches in one ear while listening to Farrar and Bruce and Johnny Corndawg and all those guys in the other ear. They're alsum!
Me: Do you really look like that pic of Neil in the hat?
Cortez: Come on, mollusk man, that's just my av. Here's a pic of me that was taken last week before the Bon Iver show. I think it's really good... I'm even using it as the home screen for my iPhone!
Me: Hood or Cooley?
Cortez: Tucker!
Me: Why the big change a couple of years ago from cortez_the_killer to Cortez the Killer?
Cortez: I would tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Next question, mollusk!
Me: PBR or Bud?
Cortez: Widmer Brothers' Drifter Pale Ale, clammer. Plenty of IBU's, a wonderful, well-balanced ale. Bovine shipped it to Iowan and Iowan shipped it to me.
Me: DBT with Jason or without?
Cortez: I think they should fire Neff and bring in Farrar!
Me: Willie or Waylon?
Cortez: Farrar
Me: Obama or Romney?
Cortez: Farrar
Me: This has been great, thanks for doing the interview!
Cortez: My pleasure, mollusk.
Me: So Cortez, how's it going?
Cortez: Great clammer! Let's get this party started!
Me: Okay, here we go. First question. Uncle Tupe or Son Volt?
Cortez: Tupe who? Son what? These days it's all Death Cab, all the time...
Me: Boxers or briefs?
Cortez: As I get older, Clams, I've found that a little more support goes a long way. So I've been going with these:
Me: LJ or Zip?
Cortez: Black Canary
Me: Decoration Day or SRO?
Cortez: Punk all the way, Clams.
Me: Where do you find time to listen to all that music?
Cortez: I have special sideline headphones that allow me hear the other coaches in one ear while listening to Farrar and Bruce and Johnny Corndawg and all those guys in the other ear. They're alsum!
Me: Do you really look like that pic of Neil in the hat?
Cortez: Come on, mollusk man, that's just my av. Here's a pic of me that was taken last week before the Bon Iver show. I think it's really good... I'm even using it as the home screen for my iPhone!
Me: Hood or Cooley?
Cortez: Tucker!
Me: Why the big change a couple of years ago from cortez_the_killer to Cortez the Killer?
Cortez: I would tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Next question, mollusk!
Me: PBR or Bud?
Cortez: Widmer Brothers' Drifter Pale Ale, clammer. Plenty of IBU's, a wonderful, well-balanced ale. Bovine shipped it to Iowan and Iowan shipped it to me.
Me: DBT with Jason or without?
Cortez: I think they should fire Neff and bring in Farrar!
Me: Willie or Waylon?
Cortez: Farrar
Me: Obama or Romney?
Cortez: Farrar
Me: This has been great, thanks for doing the interview!
Cortez: My pleasure, mollusk.
Last edited by Clams on Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.
If you don't run you rust
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
<3
Matt playing like an evil motherfucker w/ rhythm with a capital MPLAEMWR.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
We call him Scooby Do, but Scooby doesn’t do. Scooby, is not involved
- cortez the killer
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
I appreciate you leaving out the part about my man cave plastered with Billy Squier posters. Otherwise, spot on. Between this interview & your piece on Ray Wylie Hubbard, it's only a matter of time before the music publications launch a bidding war for your services.
You are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Love this....keep it rollin'
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Needed a good laugh!
Thanks Clamsie.
Thanks Clamsie.
Reluctantly, our hero rises to the day, with a moan and a curse to an absent God.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
cortez the killer wrote:I appreciate you leaving out the part about my man cave plastered with Billy Squier posters. Otherwise, spot on. Between this interview & your piece on Ray Wylie Hubbard, it's only a matter of time before the music publications launch a bidding war for your services.
Man cave?? You might get fire-bombed from a 3DD lurker who a year ago warned that those who use the term "man cave" should have their eyes gouged out with fireplace pokers and their skin peeled off by giant flesh-eating beetles. Or something like that: http://www.threedimesdown.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3200&hilit=mancave
Careful Cortez....
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
ramonz wrote:cortez the killer wrote:I appreciate you leaving out the part about my man cave plastered with Billy Squier posters. Otherwise, spot on. Between this interview & your piece on Ray Wylie Hubbard, it's only a matter of time before the music publications launch a bidding war for your services.
Man cave?? You might get fire-bombed from a 3DD lurker who a year ago warned that those who use the term "man cave" should have their eyes gouged out with fireplace pokers and their skin peeled off by giant flesh-eating beetles. Or something like that: http://www.threedimesdown.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3200&hilit=mancave
Careful Cortez....
I somehow missed that lunacy. I'm at a loss for words with Ty Webb's reaction. I guess I should be scared. And all along, it was the Squier part that I was worried about.
You are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
I deny any transporting or receiving of alcoholic beverages via postal service.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
thats great. so true to life too. a real portrait of the man, in words, also pictures.
I've never taken a pissbreak during a DBT show but if I had it would have been during Dancing Ricky.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
I wanna know why/how he is a cunt.
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley
Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Clams.... The Maron of 3DD
The beer trades were great. We should do those again.
The beer trades were great. We should do those again.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
bovine knievel wrote:I wanna know why/how he is a cunt.
You are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.
- DPM
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Agree. Lots of new stuff out there.Iowan wrote:The beer trades were great. We should do those again.
You are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Typo? One silly little vowel...Iowan wrote:Clams.... The Maron of 3DD
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard
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Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Maroon?beantownbubba wrote:Typo? One silly little vowel...Iowan wrote:Clams.... The Maron of 3DD
Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa
Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Gentlemen, please. Iowan knew what he was saying.
If you don't run you rust
Re: 3dd Person of the Week - Cortez the Killer
Indeed. I’m surprised that wasn’t a more ubiquitous reference.Clams wrote:Gentlemen, please. Iowan knew what he was saying.