Tequila Cowboy wrote:

GW in IA wrote: still just an old man.

Maybe so, but one of the finest I've ever known. Your strength, perseverance and love of your wife and family are beyond inspirational. You're my motherfuckin' hero, man. Seriously.

So, from my distant, facebookless, northeast vantage point - based on our occasional brief moments of interaction and the words herein, I quote the great Cowboy for truth.

Peace, love and strength brother!

You're the man, Gary.

Iowan wrote:You're the man, Gary.

This sentiment holds, even from a Pennsylvanian...

Well, since this is where it all started, and since nothing ever feels real until its posted here, I guess now is the time. After almost 8 years, 5 of which have involved near total paralysis, Patty will be going into a nursing facility in roughly 2 weeks, when a private room opens up. I've done all I feel I can, I've sacrificed my children's happiness, my own health, my own stability... I don't know what else. My children eat dinner in the same room that my wife shits. Enough is enough. As of today the kids know, they are sad but strong. They understand, and I guess that's what matters. I swore up and down that I would never let it come to this. I can't help but feel like I'm failing here, even though I know it's not really the case. It is what it is. I'm very clear in my head that it's the right thing.
She may never forgive me, but that's just a cross I'll have to bear. It's time.
Please don't post about it on social media, or message her about it until I officially let her friends and family know what's going on.

Get up right now and hug/kiss someone who means something to you. And fucking dance in the living room.

Sorry to hear about this, man. I can't imagine what you're going through, but it sounds like you're making the best choices you can of several crummy options.
Take time to be kind to yourself and lean on others when you need to.
Take care,

Love ya buddy. But what the fuck ya gonna do. Gave it your best shot. Amazing you lasted this long. Always just a call away. Don't hesitate

No reason for you to feel guilty. She'll forgive. Hugs, brother.

My heart goes out to you. You are doing the right thing. While not in same league as what you are dealing with, my health is deteriorating more quickly. I've been fighting close to 10 years & the past year has convinced me that the time has come to wave the white flag. I've pretty much made up my mind I'm going to retire on disability in the spring. Just can't hack it anymore. & the docs are pretty much insisting I do this. I wouldn't want to put loved ones through anything, if there were any really. Prayers for you & your family.

I have no clue what to say other than hang in there, and be aware that everyone here has your back, Big love, brother.

Not sure what to say, Gary. All the love from Mississippi. Anything you need ever just ask.

You're doing the right thing. You've done the right thing all along. Stay strong.

I doubt my words are of any help to you in your situation. I can only begin to imagine. Perhaps your choice may prove to give yourself (and your kids) some much needed breathing space to be able to gather strength to support her in the continuation, even if it means you won't be around her 24/7. (Sorry for my bad English)

You have been an inspiration to many for far too long, Gary.
You are a mensch.
You are a hero.
You have done more than could possibly be expected of anyone in the worst possible circumstances. This disease is plain evil and there are no good choices but there is no doubt you've made the best of those available to you.

Love you.
Love Patty.
Hate fucking ALS.

You have been 5 times the rock that I could ever be.
Stay strong my friend.

not sure there are words to convey how much respect you deserve for the incredible humanity you have show, but: given similar (horrible, unimaginable) circumstances of being diagnosed with ALS, I don't think there is anyone else I would want looking after my medical/better interests that you... and, for the record, I ran this by my wife (aka: phungal) who said "oh, definitely, you'd want him not me"...

Gary, we are sending our love and wishing peace for all of yall.

Gary I’m sorry I’m so late seeing this. I’m in and out around here. No doubt in my mind you have done all anyone could do and you’ve done it with a great attitude and a hell of a lot of grit. Way more than most people could. Prayers and love from down here in Georgia. If there is anything I can do, even if you just need somebody to vent to, I’m right here man. You’re a hell of a man.

For those of you who may not know, Patty has taken a turn for the worse this week and it seems that the end is near. Thoughts and prayers.

Patty passed away early this morning.

I just opened page 1. 9 fucking years. God damn it, Gary, you're a strong motherfucker. Patty was too. It's such bullshit that good people have to go through this.

So sorry to hear this. My deepest sympathies.

So, so sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences, GW.

Reading Iowan's post - and echo every sentiment. Only met Patty the once and I recall her humour - teasing Ben at the 40 Watt. There are no words that need to be said, but I will say this - you lead by example my friend. You make us all want to be better. Your family thrived and will continue to thrive under your guidance. I cannot fathom the toll this has taken on you. As you know, I love ya Brother!

People have been asking how to support Gary & his family. Gary has asked that contributions be made to Nuci's Space in Patty's memory. You can either go to their website, nuci.org, and follow the directions for contributing by PayPal or credit card or mail checks to

Nuci's Space
Attn: Debbie
396 Oconee Street
Athens, GA 30601

In either case you can indicate in the memo/comment space that the donation is in memory of Patty Willrett. Thanks in advance.

beantownbubba wrote:People have been asking how to support Gary & his family. Gary has asked that contributions be made to Nuci's Space in Patty's memory. You can either go to their website, nuci.org, and follow the directions for contributing by PayPal or credit card or mail checks to

Nuci's Space
Attn: Debbie
396 Oconee Street
Athens, GA 30601

In either case you can indicate in the memo/comment space that the donation is in memory of Patty Willrett. Thanks in advance.

Thanks Bubba. I will be personally adding to the "profits" from the second-round of the Hood/Cooley 2020 T-Shirt Fundraiser, and the donation will be in Patty's name and honor.

Swamp wrote:Gary, we are sending our love and wishing peace for all of yall.

X2. you & your family are in my prayers.