Return of the Tales (from the Swamp)

[Swamp]

or The Skynyrd Cruises (part one)
It was late spring early summer of 06. Marina had just come out of the drs office. The look on her
face told it all. It didn't look good and when we got to the truck we broke down. After sitting there
a while I regained my composer for the ride home. When I started the truck, AAW was in the cd
player. lookout Mt. was coming to its conclusion and then the Living Bubba came on. It was one of
those moments when you just don't know what to do. Then it hit us. We ain't gonna quit living before
we die.
Up until that time we had never gone on the road to see DBT. We only saw them when they played
in our area. We also had never been on a cruise before. I very rarely came to the 9b board but I
did frequent the official DBT site. It was there I found the Jam Cruise which DBT were scheduled
to be on. It was a 5 day 6 night cruise. Even though I didn't know how we were going to afford it, and
we hadn't been away from our house for more than 3 days at a time since the early 90's, we booked.
It was set up to pay in installments over the next 5 months. Shortly after we booked I ran across the
Skynyrd cruise "Gimme 3 Days". My first thought was why ain't DBT on this cruise. I had made 2
of the payments when we got the news DBT had canceled. We were upset but what are you gonna do.
Patterson and Neff would still be on the boat along with some guy named Jay Gonzalez. I was still
wondering how I was gonna make that last payment. They don't give you your money back on these
things but luckily Sixthman had it's hands in the Jam Cruise. Sixthman was doing the Skynyrd Cruise
and after making some phone calls, a lot of begging and explaining that we only booked the cruise because
of DBT, they let us change our reservations to the "Gimme 3 Days" cruise. Sometimes things happen
for a reason. It was half the price and we'd only be gone for 3 days. I wasn't back in the Skynyrd camp
yet, but I wanted to see Sister Hazel, 38 Special and Drivin-n-Cryin (not knowing Rick Richards was playing
with D-n-C)
Both cruise were scheduled for Jan, the perfect time for a cruise as there are no tropical storms or
hurricanes blowing around the Caribbean. I just had to make it through football season first and our first
DBT road trip.(by accident). While planning a trip to the Tenn game we had reserved a cabin near Pigeon Forge. Thinking it would be better to drive half way up on Thursday so we could spend more time in the
cabin on Friday, I started looking for places to stay on Thursday night. As luck would have it, DBT was
playing Macon on that thursday. well that settles that. Originally I had planned to celebrate my 48th
birthday at the cabin. This was before we knew about the DBT show. Except for my son and mother the
rest of my family were either non-commital or just backed out. My good friend Jon (JBinSD) who was still
in the navy and stationed in San Diego agreed to go with us. My other good friend Mark, who lives
in C-bus Ga,. always meets us on our football road trips would meet us at the cabin. It was a big cabin.
So we rented a mini-van. Marina, my son Jessie, my mother, Jon and I loaded up. My dog Leo (10/97 - 11/10)
also went. I miss him so much.
My mother and Leo would stay at the hotel room while we went to the show. Even though I had given
Jon SRO, he wasn't completely sold yet. He thought the music and lyrics were good, but the guitars
weren't loud enough. I believe this was their first show after the Black Crowes tour. It was Cooley's
birthday and they were ready to RAWK! This was also the first show Marina filmed.
1. Ronnie and Neil
2. Zip City
3. Easy On Yourself
4. Feb. 14
5. Marry Me
6. My Sweet Annette
7. Goddamn Lonely Love
8. Steve McQueen
9. Dead, Drunk, and Naked
10. Guitar Man Upstairs
11. Dress Blues
12. Mama Bake A Pie (Daddy Kill A Chicken)
13. Gravity's Gone
14. Aftermath USA
15. Sink Hole
16. Never Gonna Change
17. Buttholeville
18. Happy Birthday
19. Women Without Whiskey (this is on youtube on Arcaspiffs page complete with happy birthday)
20. Moonlight Mile
21. Let There Be Rock
22. Shut Up and Get On The Plane
23. Lookout Mountain
24. Angels and Fuselage (thanks to oneofthesedays)
Needless to say Jon left the show a true fan. On Friday we headed to Pigeon Forge . After some
site seeing on Sat, all the women and Leo would stay at the cabin while the guys went to the game.

(Mark, Me, Jon and Jessie)
Besides getting blown away by the Truckers, Jon said it was the most exciting game he had ever seen.
Urb was freaking me out. Chris Leak was our QB but on every 4th and short they'ed send Tebow in and I
would scream "you dumb asses, they know he's going up the middle are you trying to lose this fucker!"
but he would go in and go up the middle and make it. wtf! It was a good ride home except for the traffic
jam in Pigeon Forge where we blasted 18 Wheels of Love out the windows. Once on the road we watched
the DBT show on the little tv in the mini-van.
Two weeks after we got back Marina had the operation we had been waiting on all summer. That's
when we found out she didn't have cancer. It was determined she had a bad case of diverticulitis.
What a relief, but our course was set and we weren't going to quit living before we died. She had three
months to heal before the cruise. (to be continued)

[Swamp]

Sorry I haven't got back with part 2 of the previous story.......but I will eventually
So last Sunday I was taking the dogs for a walk on the property next to ours. As we came back
along the property line I noticed Marina in the back yard taking pictures. As we got a little further
down the line I saw the black racer that lives in our back yard sunning itself. I told Marina to come
snap some pictures. Then I told her to switch it to video as I eased the dogs up to it. It shot off the
little mound it was on, turned and went right between Marina's legs going over her foot.

[Son of Swamp]

that scream is crazy.

I like how Clyde doesn't even seem to care.

[Clams]

Sorry I haven't got back with part 2 of the previous story.......but I will eventually
So last Sunday I was taking the dogs for a walk on the property next to ours. As we came back
along the property line I noticed Marina in the back yard taking pictures. As we got a little further
down the line I saw the black racer that lives in our back yard sunning itself. I told Marina to come
snap some pictures. Then I told her to switch it to video as I eased the dogs up to it. It shot off the
little mound it was on, turned and went right between Marina's legs going over her foot.

Swamp, you and Marina must be getting soft. In the old days, you guys used to hack the heads off those fuckin snakes. Now it looks like they're in charge. What gives?

[Swamp]

We love all of our critters. It's just the venomous ones that get to close to the house that
have to worry about the death penalty.

[Swamp]

I will eventually get back to part 2 of how the living bubba changed our lives.................
Just don't know when
On the news the other day I saw a story about a blind guy that found a girl who had fallen off a horse
and got a fractured skull. That and the quote below that SJ made on the WTF thread reminded me of my own
horse adventures. I was gonna post this on the horse talk thread but then realized it was them kinda horses



THE ADVENTURES OF BLAKE AND RABBIT
During my 2nd, 2nd grade year and 3rd grade year we lived in Brewton Ala. while my dad was overseas. My cousin Blake was my closest
companion during those years. The Riddles (my moms maiden name) are teasers.

"mean like the people from south Alabama"

They/we will tease you about anything. So instead of Robert, I was Rabbit .Blake's dad has always been my favorite Uncle. Uncle Memphis
had a horse farm outside of town. Every time I hear "Little Pony and Great Big Horse" I think of Uncle Memphis.
On the days we didn't have school I would arrive at Blakes house as early as I could. Uncle Memphis would be at work and Aunt Bama would be in her beauty shop on the corner of the property. We would fix us some coffee, Blake would find some half smoked cigarets and we'd take Aunt Bama's Impala out for a joy ride. Blake did all the driving. Did I mention Blake's about 6 months younger than me. Most of the time these rides would be uneventful except when Blake would decide to drive into town. My Uncle Pascol, the chief of police, would catch us and send us home where Aunt Bama would be waiting on us so she could chew us out. A week later we'd be out cruising the back roads.

"And I'd like to say, "I'm sorry", but we lived to tell about it
And we lived to do a whole lot more crazy, stupid, shit."

I don't know if it's very different for motorcycle riders, but coming from a horseback rider's viewpoint, I never have nor ever will ride without my properly fitted, ASTM/SEI approved helmet, nor will let anyone else I'm responsible for ride without one. I've seen firsthand the damage riding without a helmet can do to people I've known. And it's always been people with more years of experience riding than I've been alive. Most don't wear them simply because they don't think they look cool or that helmets are only for beginners, or that they're only for high-intensity exercise. Most serious falls occur at a sedate walk - even more than galloping or jumping. One ride without a helmet is not worth being killed or debilitatingly injured. I am a huge advocate for helmet safety.

Incidents #1 & #2
Once I learned how to ride solo, we road every chance we got. On my first solo ride, Blake and I ended up racing back to the barn. I wasn't sure how
I was gonna stop the horse. But no worries, the horse knew how to stop all on his own. As we came up to the barn at a full gallop, the horse came to
a dead stop. Not knowing this was gonna happen, I went air born, right over the horses head. Just as I got up some older cousins showed up
and I wanted to show them I could ride so I climbed right back up on the horse. I knew Blake would want to race again (maybe this would have worked on
that other thread) There were 4, 20 acre fields divided by little creeks and tree lines. As we left the first field we traveled down a horse path to the
next field and circled around to another path going back to the main field. Just after we crossed the little creek, my saddle came loose and I fell into
a brier patch. The horse came out of the tree line without me sending all my cousin running to the rescue. I came out of the tree line using the
new curse words Blake had learned from Uncle Pascal
Incident #3
Blake and I had decided one day we wanted to check out a new field Uncle Memphis had just bought. We could reach it buy following a trail along
the creek that ran thru the properties. For some reason the horse I was on was not cooperating and by the time we got to the new field he had
had enough of me and he headed straight for a low hanging limb. I tried to duck but it was too low and it bashed a hole in the side of my head
about the size of a quarter. As the blood started to pour from my head, I grabbed a switch, jumped back on the horse and proceeded to whup his
ass all the way back to the house. I was scared but I had finally beat my cousin racing On a side note, Blake built his house next to that tree.
Incident #4
Sometimes my younger brother Myron would come with me over to Blakes. On this particular day Blake had a pony in the yard around the house
when we got there. He asked Myron if he wanted to get on, and he did. As soon as Myron got on, the pony took off. Blake caught up with it just as
it ran under the cloths line. As Blake caught it he kicked it in the ass and it started bucking. The cloths line was holding Myron up and he couldn't fall off.
It was hilarious at the time.
Incident #5
One day Myron and I had gone over to Blakes but he wasn't home at the time. While milling about the barn area, a neighbor kid, by the name
of Jack, came over and we decided the 3 of us would all get on a horse and ride out to a fort they had built in the woods about a half mile away.
It wasn't a very comfortable ride and once we got there I decided only 2 of us were gonna ride back. I just didn't tell Jack I told Myron to
jump on the horse when I did and don't look back. Well the plan started off well but once we got into an open field I couldn't get the horse to go
faster than a trot. Slowly Myron slid to the back and over his ass. Just as he went off he pulled me over the side. The horse stepped on my inner
thigh just missing my balls aaaaah good times.
Of course horses weren't the only way we tried to kill ourselves. There were always the bottle rocket wars where we would stand about 50 yds
apart at night and shoot bottle rockets at each other. Camp outs in the field where we would throw paper airplanes dipped in fire at each other.
And then one of my favorites, sitting on top a wooden fence with our feet dangling, throwing firecrackers at each others feet, which taught
me a valuable lesson. Never tuck your pants into your cowboy boots !!! I did, Blake threw one as accurate as Luke Skywalker aiming for that
little port hole on the death star, and boom, I just couldn't get my boot off quick enough.
Although to some people it appears Blake got over on us all the time, I did get over on him once that I had long forgotten. A couple of years
ago Blake reminded me. Evidently it left a lasting impression on him. Without my dad around I tended to be a little wise ass and would argue
with my mother alot. On this particular day my mom was taking me and Blake somewhere when we got into one of these arguments. She kept
telling me to shut up but I wouldn't. I was in the back seat so she couldn't back hand me. That's when she parked the car on the RR tracks and
threatend not to move till I shut up. Well I called her bluff and kept yakking, meanwhile Blake who had called shotgun was starting to freak out.
Knowing this, I kept on yakking. Blake was screaming "goddamit Rabbit, please shut up!!!" Then a train started coming and I still wouldn't
back down When she finally pulled off the tracks, Blake was in tears and I was a happy camper (even knowing that when we got
to where we were going, I was going to get a switch to the ass)

[Swamp]

Some one in my family that read the story above pointed out that I had left out words and punctuation that
would make the story easier to read so I fixed it.
Also while doing some research on my great-grandfather yesterday, I was looking
at a google map of Brewton and there was Riddle Rd. So I zoomed in and it even had street view.
All the property along the south side of Riddle rd. is my Uncle Memphis'
the large pond just south of the rd wasn't there back then and was actually one of the little
creeks that flowed through the property.

[Swamp]

Saw this story and thought about the stuff we got away with back in the 60's
We were only 8 or 9 but there weren't no drunks involved.
http://www.rr.com/news/topic/article/rr ... or_letting

On the days we didn't have school I would arrive at Blakes house as early as I could. Uncle Memphis would be at work and Aunt Bama would be in her beauty shop on the corner of the property. We would fix us some coffee, Blake would find some half smoked cigarets and we'd take Aunt Bama's Impala out for a joy ride. Blake did all the driving. Did I mention Blake's about 6 months younger than me. Most of the time these rides would be uneventful except when Blake would decide to drive into town. My Uncle Pascol, the chief of police, would catch us and send us home where Aunt Bama would be waiting on us so she could chew us out. A week later we'd be out cruising the back roads.

[Swamp]

This quote from the "does the KoL have a history with DBT" thread has inspired me to continue with the Cruise stories.

I remember reading a personal account from a DBTs fan on the DBTs Yahoo group from someone that attended one of the shows where they were opening for Skynyrd. They said the Skynyrd fans were all diggin' on "The Southern Thing" and were high fivin' when they got to the line that mentions "Robert EEEEEEEEE. Lee!!" but when Patterson followed that up with "Martin Luther Kiiiiiiing!!" they all turned to one another and stared in disbelief. Sadly, it goes to show that a belief in racism is still alive and well with a great deal of the Skynyrd fanbase. Even Skynyrd themselves have remained mum on Southern Rock Opera, I believe the only official statement I've read was from Rossington, who referred to it as "weird". Then again, you have to put yourself in their shoes. I imagine it is more than a bit strange to have an album out that's largely based on your own band's history and mythology. Probably a huge reason why the original name of the album was changed from Betamax Guillotine as well.

Having gone on 3 of the Skynyrd cruises I am proud to say I saw no sign of racism on the boat.
But then again for a cruise ship full of drunk rednecks, I didn't see any fights either.
I also think every band out there has some racist fans even DBT.
I saw a few people make funny faces when Patterson replace Martin Luther King with president Obama. But I digress

After reviewing part 1 of this story I realized I had left out alot that had gone on that summer but I have decided
to just pick up where I left off.
As the cruise date got closer we got more excited. Not only would we be going on a cruise for the first time, we
would get a chance to hang with some of our favorite artist from Drivin & Cryin and 38 Special. Then a week
before the cruise we got the news, (not that it was any surprise to me after the expirence I've had with the band)
Gary Rossington had fallen down some stairs new years eve and had broken his face. He would not be able to
make the cruise. Oh well.
From the moment we got on the boat it was the best trip ever. After boarding we headed for the elevators to get
to the deck our cabin was on. When the doors opened, Rickey and Johnny were standing there. As we stepped in,
Rickey pointed at my shirt and said "killer band". I had on my Blessing and a Curse shirt.







more to come...........

[Swamp]

Mrs. Swamps most watched video

[Swamp]

(taken during the sunday afternoon acoustic set on the lido deck)
One of the best things about the cruises was all the new music we were turned on to.
I had never got a chance to see the Georgia Satellites but here was Rick Richards playing
with Drivin & Cryin. We caught their shows every chance we got. At the first Skynyrd show
we watched 38 open the show but then left and went to the other end of the boat to watch
D-n-C, then got back just in time for Freebird !!!

Every club on the boat had live music. As we walked past one on our way to dinner, the music caught our
ear and we stepped in to see Rickey jamming with Blackberry Smoke, one of the bands we discovered and
still follow.

Zac Brown was also on the boat and I had never heard of him. But we recconized Heather Luttrell, a contestant
on the tv show "Rock Star Inxs". She had a killer voice and would always be involved with the all night jams at the
piano bar just outside the casino.


Cameron from Tishamingo and Sonya Lee

Zac Brown and Sonya Lee

The Blue Dogs, Sister Hazel and Corey Smith
are some of the other bands that come to mind
that were on that 1st cruise called "Gimme 3 Days"
I've never been on a regular cruise but I think
these music cruises are the way to go. It was a
non-stop musical party with no driving involved.

[Swamp]

Therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre baaack.
We've had one cottonmouth in the yard earlier this spring but besides that
we haven't seen any poisonous snakes.
Then last week, the Mrs is outside picking up sticks (like she really needs to be doing that)
and one of them gets away!
It shook its little tail at her as it crawled away before she could pick it up.
It was an 8" pigmy rattler. It made its way through the fence and toward the swamp.
As he cleared the fence he shook his little tail at her again.
Then yesterday I'm sitting on the couch minding my own business. The Mrs is on the
front porch talking to Craig on the phone and I hear Patterson give this little bark.
It's kinda like the one he gives when he wants to come in, but I could tell he wasn't
near the door. I look out the window and Patterson is just outside the gate at the bottom
of the steps. He wants to come thru but something wont let him. So I step outside and look
at the bottom of the steps, where there's a cottonmouth just daring Patterson to come
any closer. My first thought is the shovel but I have to go thru that gate to get it. I'm
hollaring at Patterson to stay but the snake is between us and he wants to come to me.
I've also told the Mrs to get me a shovel as I try to make Patterson stay. Marina went
out the side yard and around to the front and called Patterson over to her so she could
stick him in the house. Buy the time she got back with the shovel the snake had slitherd
up under the porch. I couldn't get him to come out for nothing. We're down to one dog
and I can't go outta town with this MF'er under the porch. What to do, what to do!
Thanks to Steve I was able to acquire the courage to do what needed to be done.
A couple of puffs later and I was dressed in black, head lamp on and my Colt 380 in
hand. I was going under. Marina pleaded with me not to go. At least not before taking
a shot of Dickel. (her reason being whiskey breath would keep the snake away from
my face) So after the shot I needed another puff, then off I went.
Long story short and an empty clip later, I fed his remains to our snapping turtle.

[BigTom]

I have similar wildlife problems at my house in the mountains of WV. So far two timber rattlesnakes and one bear. Both snakes caught me by surprise. I had just arrived at the house and had to pee so bad that I couldn't make it to the bathroom so I went to the edge of the woods to do my business and two feet from my feet was a coiled up timber rattler rattling his tail like crazy. Luckily the dogs went off in a different direction and didn't see the snake. I put the dogs in the house and grabbed a shovel and my camera. Took a few pics and proceeded to chop the snake with the shovel. Don't like killing snakes but I couldn't have it around with the dogs.

The second time, I walked out the back door on to the patio and sitting on the grill cover that I had left on the ground the night before, was a smaller timber rattlesnake. I had read after I killed the first one that Timber Rattlesnakes are an endangered species in WV and it was illegal to kill them. Instead of killing this one, I caught it with a hooked fireplace poker and put in a cooler and released it about 10 miles down the road.

Two weeks ago I was outside grilling some chicken, ten minutes later sitting at the kitchen table eating the chicken I hear a noise like the grill being moved and then at the corner of my eye I see something black pass by the sliding glass door. I get up to look thinking that it was Honey, a dog that lives down the road that comes to visit Barnaby (my dog) but to my surprise it's a juvenile black bear just standing there looking at me. Luckily I had my phone to snap a few pics. Barnaby just kept looking at the bear and then back at me as to say "why can't I go out and play with that big dog?".

[Swamp]

Took a few pics and proceeded to chop the snake with the shovel. Don't like killing snakes but I couldn't have it around with the dogs.

Same here.

[suntzu]

Question: Was Wet Willie at the Southern Rock Jam in 76? Also, was that a banded Water snake? And also what is a puff?

[Swamp]

With the beginning of football season I thought I'd post one of my favorite football stories that has nothing to do
with football It was on the old 9b board and I'v edited and updated it.
Marina (aka Mrs Swamp & Patchouliskye on youtube) and I first met in 1978. She went to school with the older of
my 2 younger brothers, Myron. Anyways back then I was a big AC/DC and Ted Nugent fan. Marina was also. Based
on this, Myron hooked us up and in the spring of 79' Marina moved in with me. Back then we went to almost every
concert that came to town. In the fall of 79 AC/DC came to town. Marnia's father even came with us. (which struck
me as odd for a man of his age to be down in the crowd in front of the stage. But now I'm older than he was then
and I still love being down in that crowd!) So after the show Marina and I slipped past security and staight into the
room where the band was partying. All of them except for Angus, who i figured was either past out or arrested for
showing his ass. (this WAS Jacksonville)

They were really cool and acted like they enjoyed our company and had I
known then what I know now, Bon would have went home with us! As usaul Marina had her camera and I took pictures
of her with different members of the band including the one below.

The autographs wouldn't be added to that picture till 16 years later.
A few months later when Bon died we were devastated. We continued to support the band and as good as Brian is,
He'll never replace Bon, but he does a far better job than Johnny does for Ronnie.

from the 79 show

Flash forward 16 years
The music industry just wasn't doing it for me anymore and I hardly went to shows except for the occasional Neil
Young show and a few others. Our son and I had become big Gator fans and we went to every home game, before I
even had season tickets. As the 96 season approached we noticed AC/DC would be playing Jax the same night as opening
day in the Swamp. So I left the decision up to our 13 year old son. Do we go see AC/DC or do we go watch the Gators
play some little school (like yesterday) that they pay to beat. It was no contest and Jessie chose the Gators. (that's the
football part of the story ) Marina didn't attend all the games and said it would be no problem. She would just get her
brother to go to the show with her. The Wednsday before the show, one of my customers asked me to clean out their garage.
They had moved and wanted everything chunked. That's when I found the barrel When I got home that day I told Marina
that I had an idea to get her backstage for the show. I told her all she had to do was wear the barrel and wait at the gate leading
to the backstage area. She was like "what". I told her I would fix it up a bit and that my plan would work...........and it did!
I painted it up like a barrel of TNT

From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack!! (under the garter)


Phil Rudd in 79 & 96


Malcolm in 79 & 96


Cliff Williams in 79 & 96


Marina's brother Shawn, Angus & Marina


Shawn and Brian( Marina said they really hit it off great)


Angus signing the barrel

[Gator McKlusky]

Great stuff Mr. Swamp. The Bon Scott/Marina picture is beyond cool! Amazing how Marina and the members of AC/DC don't look like they have aged one bit between 79 and 96.

I too loved AC/DC and The Nuge back in the 70's; my first concert was Bill Graham's Day On The Green in the Oakland Coliseum in 1978 and I saw AC/DC and Ted Nugent that day (along with BOC and Cheap Trick) The next day I bought High Voltage, Let There Be Rock and Powerage.

I never saw Lynyrd Skynyrd but I sure saw AC/DC, Bon Scott singing on the Powerage tour.

[Swamp]

Thanks Gator. I was one of the few people at my school that listened to AC/DC. But more on that later.
I posted this story a while back on the old 9b board
(do not read if you have a weak stomach.This is a very fucked up story, or maybe just bizarre.................)

Winnie was one of our many beloved dogs. She passed away a few years back at the age of 13. She was
born the day they buried Richard Nixon to Teddy, a red chow we had at the time, and Jasmine, a blue chow.
There were 4 puppies, 2 males and 2 females. 1 male was red and the other was blue/black. The red one was
quite a pig/fatty and we named him Elvis. As shocking as this might sound, I liked Nixon. He was president
when my dad came home from Vietnam for the LAST time. So the other male was named Nixon. The 2 females
were also blue/black. 1 was named Yoko and the other was Winnie (the whiner). When they got old enough they
went quickly. Nixon went to the people that lived across the street from my parents in town. I was working for
my dad at the time, so I got to see him every day. Winnie went to a couple that lived in a little town north of
Jax. I know Elvis went to a girl that lived here in Middleburg and I can't remember where Yoko went. We never
saw Yoko and Elvis again. The couple that got Winnie had a baby which we were told Winnie loved. She also
loved the wife but one night the husband got outta bed to take a whiz. Winnie would not let him back in the
bedroom and chased him outta the house. Needless to say, we got Winnie back. Nixon also came back after
the people who got him got evicted from their house.
Our property is not on the road but behind all the properties on the road. Where the road dead ends our drive
way starts, curves to the right

and down a tree covered easement about 340 ft.

I often refer to it as the "Bat Tunnel"
The second any body passes the dead end our early warning system goes off. (the dogs)
One of our property lines is a little creek we call Cottonmouth Creek. Our drive way crosses the creek and
our culvert is slightly elevated. If you hit it at high speeds you go airborne and that's what happen on that
faithful night.
As Marina and I were doing our evening relaxation technique the alarms went off. I got up to look out the
front door only see 3 cop cars going airborne over my culvert, which is another 75 yds from the house. I
hollered for Marina to stash the weed as I ran out to greet/stall them in my underwear. The 1st cop asked
me what my address was (it's a private road, the postal services don't come down it and nobody's house is
marked) When he realized he was at the wrong place he told me where he was going and that something
bad had happened. I pointed across the creek to my neighbors house. They turned around and were gone.
What a relief I thought. Knowing there was a lot of cocaine flowing over there, I knew he was right about
something bad happening. Being it was dark I thought I could slip across the little bridge between our properties.
But the cops headed me off and sent me home. We had no clue what had happened until the next morning
when another neighbor called us to fill us in on what went down. My neighbors girl friend had been shot and killed.
It was eventually ruled accidental which I don't buy considering the 41 cal slug took off 2 of her fingers before
hitting her between the eyes. (his family had friends in the sheriff dept and in an unrelated event a couple
of months earlier, Nixon had been shot and killed by someone down the road that also had friends in the
sheriff dept)
Still wondering what had gone wrong as I drove home from work that day, I was behind another neighbor who
lives across the road from the shooting. When Rick pulled into the driveway where the shooting took place, I
followed. To our surprise our neighbor was at home. We went in and asked him what had happened. He told us
the revolver was laying on top the microwave and that she was in the kitchen banging pots and pans around
cause she was pissed about something. The gun fell off the microwave and landed hammer first on the
counter. He told us that he had put the gun there so it would be handy to scare dogs away from his garbage
cans. Then he started complaining about how the cops had left their rubber gloves and brain matter all over
his kitchen and dinning area. He had been cleaning all day and had put everything in the garbage cans outside.
When i got home I relayed the story to Marina She looked back at me with a crazed look in her eyes and said
"Winnie got loose about an hour ago and was eating something out of his garbage"

[Penny Lane]

i spent an hour surfing this thread last night, i guess i hadn't seen all the pics!
incredible...those pics are fantastic..

[Swamp]

Thanks Penny.
While I only had to go through a shoe box at my moms to find the older pictures,
our (Me & the Mrs) picture collection fills up a 16"x16"x21" tub (1979-2007)
Thank god for digital cameras & chips

[Swamp]

Sorry I haven't got back with part 2 of the previous story.......but I will eventually
So last Sunday I was taking the dogs for a walk on the property next to ours. As we came back
along the property line I noticed Marina in the back yard taking pictures. As we got a little further
down the line I saw the black racer that lives in our back yard sunning itself. I told Marina to come
snap some pictures. Then I told her to switch it to video as I eased the dogs up to it. It shot off the
little mound it was on, turned and went right between Marina's legs going over her foot.

That particular snake has lived along our property line for a long time.
We all know each other pretty well. He likes to watch lil' Amber sometimes,
and he loves messin' with Marina.
Yesterday as she walked out the back door, he fell on her head
She ran off the back porch screaming. When she got to the clothes line and
looked back, he was just laying on the top step flicking his tongue and looking
at her like she was crazy.

[Mrs Swamp]

Sorry I haven't got back with part 2 of the previous story.......but I will eventually
So last Sunday I was taking the dogs for a walk on the property next to ours. As we came back
along the property line I noticed Marina in the back yard taking pictures. As we got a little further
down the line I saw the black racer that lives in our back yard sunning itself. I told Marina to come
snap some pictures. Then I told her to switch it to video as I eased the dogs up to it. It shot off the
little mound it was on, turned and went right between Marina's legs going over her foot.

That particular snake has lived along our property line for a long time.
We all know each other pretty well. He likes to watch lil' Amber sometimes,
and he loves messin' with Marina.
Yesterday as she walked out the back door, he fell on her head
She ran off the back porch screaming. When she got to the clothes line and
looked back, he was just laying on the top step flicking his tongue and looking
at her like she was crazy.

Here is a picture of the black racer during his visit today ...

[LBRod]

Great picture

[Mrs Swamp]

Great picture

Thank you so much!!

[Swamp]

My Uncle Memphis passed away last thursday
He will be missed so much.
Another one of the great generation is gone.

[Swamp]

The board has inspired me once again. Based on recent discussions and the fact that Iowan's signature hits so
close to home, I have to tell you, I was so judgmental at one time I had a nickname for everybody on my road
based on what body part described them.
From 20 years ago. Some are gone, some are still around.
As you turn on to my road the first house on the right would be the "Backs". Most people out here on these country roads wave.
No mater what these people were doing out in their yard, they would turn their back to you when you drove by.
Next on the left you had the "Hands" This young couple had a couple of babies and they were smokers. They would sit by the
front door with it opened just wide enough to hold their hand out. That hand would always wave when we drove by, without
opening the door any further.
Next on the right you've got the "Heads" aka the Cuban. For obvious reasons and this guy looked like Jerry Garcia before
Jerry did and they had about 15 kids( needless to say our son always had someone to play with and all have turned out pretty
good)Also he was from Cuba and had a really cool picture of himself as a teenager sitting in the back seat of an old convertible
with Fidel.
And of course across the street from the "Heads" was the "Brain". Never hardly saw this guy. All we know was he was a science
or math teacher at Middleburg High.
Next on the right was the "Asshole" He still there but he ain't an asshole anymore and that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Next on the left was "Tits and Ass" or TnA for short. It was the perfect description of Tina and Adam. They moved away about
12 years ago.
Back to right and you've got the "Dick" He just can't help it and I'll never be convinced it was an accident (see story about Winnie)
Last on the left was the "Necks" I've known Rick since before we all moved out here. He's a good ole boy from So. Car. who digs
Skynyrd and Nascar. The best tire guy you could ever have. Raised his step kids and grandkids just like they was his own. And
now he's gone and she's just the "Cunt"

[RolanK]

And of course across the street from the "Heads" was the "Brain". Never hardly saw this guy. All we know was he was a science
or math teacher at Middleburg High.

This reminded me of Tom Waits' song 'What's he building in there?"

What's he building in there?
What the hell is he building in there?
He has subscriptions to those magazines...
He never waves when he goes by
He's hiding something from the rest of us...
He's all to himself...
I think I know why...
He took down the tire swing from the peppertree
He has no children of his own you see...
He has no dog
And he has no friends and
His lawn is dying... and
What about all those packages he sends.
What's he building in there?

With that hook light on the stairs.
What's he building in there...
I'll tell you one thing
He's not building a playhouse for the children
What's he building in there?

Now what's that sound from under the door?
He's pounding nails into a hardwood floor...
And I swear to god I heard someone moaning low...
And I keep Seeing the blue light of a T.V. show...
He has a router and a table saw...
And you won't believe what Mr. Sticha saw
There's poison underneath the sink of course...
But there's also enough formaldehyde to choke a horse...
What's he building in there.
What the hell is he building in there?

I heard he has an ex-wife in some place called Mayors Income, Tennessee
And he used to have a consulting business in Indonesia...
But what is he building in there?
What the hell is building in there?

He has no friends but he gets a lot of mail
I'll bet he spent a little time in jail...
I heard he was up on the roof last night
Signaling with a flashlight
And what's that tune he's always whistling...
What's he building in there?
What's he building in there?

We have a right to know...

Sorry for messing up your thread...

[Swamp]

No worries Trym.
But I would like to add, back in the day we had lots of parties. So I can only
assume we were the "Balls"

[Swamp]

And how can I forget "Sore knee"
It was one of those parties from way back. My good friend Barry (a retired smuggler) was down at the house.
The "dick" was also there and turns out they we old friends who hadn't seen each other in years. Barry had a
sore knee and had mentioned it. The "dick" liked to fuck with people and kept telling Barry he was gonna
kick him in his sore knee. This guy Rodney who lived on the little side road off of our road couldn't take
it any more and stepped in between them. Him and the "dick" did not know each other and when the "dick"
asked him who the fuck he was. Rodney said "my name is sore knee" And from then on he was.

[Swamp]

Walked out on the front porch to drink our coffee this morning and spotted their mating dance.
By the time we got the camera going they had spotted us and started moving toward the woods.
We should know by now not to walk out the door without a camera. Just last week I was walking
down the driveway when I noticed a big fat doe skipping along about 20yds to my right.
There's some kind of brown duck that looks like he's got a mohawk hanging out on the property
line creek. We're trying to get him on film but he's being elusive.

this morning