Is Miranda Lambert the Country Artist GOAT?

[beantownbubba]

https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/ ... fszusLTAeE

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

No

[bovine knievel]

Who?

[Clams]

Who?

No

[Flea]

No

I love some of the dudes quotes:

"Not that I profess any technical knowledge of music. I wouldn’t know adagio from fettuccine, and I sometimes forget that the mandolin is not a tropical fruit. "

"Miranda Lambert is the greatest country music artist of all time. Put me on a polygraph; waterboard me; lock me in a biker bar with Toby Keith and his meanest buddies. I couldn’t say otherwise if my life depended on it."

"Lambert has earned more awards from the Academy of Country Music than anyone, ever. Six of her albums have sold more than a million copies."

Okay, you know nothing of music, you are too dumb to admit you're wrong even if it meant physical harm, and sales = quality. All righty then.

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

No

I love some of the dudes quotes:

"Not that I profess any technical knowledge of music. I wouldn’t know adagio from fettuccine, and I sometimes forget that the mandolin is not a tropical fruit. "

"Miranda Lambert is the greatest country music artist of all time. Put me on a polygraph; waterboard me; lock me in a biker bar with Toby Keith and his meanest buddies. I couldn’t say otherwise if my life depended on it."

"Lambert has earned more awards from the Academy of Country Music than anyone, ever. Six of her albums have sold more than a million copies."

Okay, you know nothing of music, you are too dumb to admit you're wrong even if it meant physical harm, and sales = quality. All righty then.

these two stood out to me:

(1) I write about politics and government for a living

(2) I don’t entirely trust country music evaluations from people who have never stuck a tractor in a muddy field

[cortez the killer]

https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/ ... fszusLTAeE

C'mon, bubba. Be better.

[Smitty]

When I was 18, I got kicked off the volunteer team at a local music festival for upsetting Miranda's dad by spending a little too much time on her bus... and for reeking of weed and cheap booze, probably
The same night I got my weed confiscated by the 5-0 and nearly got my ass kicked by trying to get Montgomery Gentry to autograph my chest

Pretty sure I ended up with alcohol poisoning from a mix of Homebrew and green apple Boone's Farm.

I love Mrs.Lambert and she's one of the absolute best mainstream contemporary country stars, may be the best in the modern day, but the heyday of c&w is long gone.

[Iowan]

Fuck no.

[scotto]

Pretty sure I ended up with alcohol poisoning from a mix of Homebrew and green apple Boone's Farm.

Just reading that line gave me the spins and that hot fluttery stomach feeling I haven't experienced in a (thankfully) long time. Well done.
Oh, and no, no she isn't.

[Rocky]

When I was 18, I got kicked off the volunteer team at a local music festival for upsetting Miranda's dad by spending a little too much time on her bus... and for reeking of weed and cheap booze, probably
The same night I got my weed confiscated by the 5-0 and nearly got my ass kicked by trying to get Montgomery Gentry to autograph my chest

Pretty sure I ended up with alcohol poisoning from a mix of Homebrew and green apple Boone's Farm.

I love Mrs.Lambert and she's one of the absolute best mainstream contemporary country stars, may be the best in the modern day, but the heyday of c&w is long gone.

Smitty you are the fuckin' best!

[Iowan]

When I was 18, I got kicked off the volunteer team at a local music festival for upsetting Miranda's dad by spending a little too much time on her bus... and for reeking of weed and cheap booze, probably
The same night I got my weed confiscated by the 5-0 and nearly got my ass kicked by trying to get Montgomery Gentry to autograph my chest

Pretty sure I ended up with alcohol poisoning from a mix of Homebrew and green apple Boone's Farm.

I love Mrs.Lambert and she's one of the absolute best mainstream contemporary country stars, may be the best in the modern day, but the heyday of c&w is long gone.

When's the pre-order for your book start?

[beantownbubba]

C'mon, bubba. Be better.

Hey, if I didn't post this we never would have gotten that dazzling Smitty post.

FWIW, I posted it because I was curious whether I missed something (my reaction being more along the no-hell no-fuck no range). I consider myself a dabbler in country music while this guy proclaims himself a master of the country universe so I wondered whether there might be some gathering consensus about Ms. Lambert of which I am not aware. Turns out, not so much.

[John A Arkansawyer]

C'mon, bubba. Be better.

Hey, if I didn't post this we never would have gotten that dazzling Smitty post.

FWIW, I posted it because I was curious whether I missed something (my reaction being more along the no-hell no-fuck no range). I consider myself a dabbler in country music while this guy proclaims himself a master of the country universe so I wondered whether there might be some gathering consensus about Ms. Lambert of which I am not aware. Turns out, not so much.

I think she's great. I can't think of anyone of her generation who's better.

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

I think Trace Adkins both fucks goats and is the progeny of goats

[John A Arkansawyer]

I think Trace Adkins both fucks goats and is the progeny of goats

Isn't that cannibalism?

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

I think Trace Adkins both fucks goats and is the progeny of goats

Isn't that cannibalism?

Why ask me? You’re the one from Arkansas

[pearlbeer]

No

I love some of the dudes quotes:

"Not that I profess any technical knowledge of music. I wouldn’t know adagio from fettuccine, and I sometimes forget that the mandolin is not a tropical fruit. "

"Miranda Lambert is the greatest country music artist of all time. Put me on a polygraph; waterboard me; lock me in a biker bar with Toby Keith and his meanest buddies. I couldn’t say otherwise if my life depended on it."

"Lambert has earned more awards from the Academy of Country Music than anyone, ever. Six of her albums have sold more than a million copies."

Okay, you know nothing of music, you are too dumb to admit you're wrong even if it meant physical harm, and sales = quality. All righty then.

these two stood out to me:


(2) I don’t entirely trust country music evaluations from people who have never stuck a tractor in a muddy field

This is truth. The only way anyone learned to dance was from people who had their tractor stuck in a muddy field.

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

No

I love some of the dudes quotes:

"lock me in a biker bar with Toby Keith and his meanest buddies. I couldn’t say otherwise if my life depended on it."

Dude thinks Toby Keith is some kind of tough guy

Sure, he's a Ford truck man, that's all he drives, he ain't got no boundaries, he don't compromise, but a tough guy?

[cortez the killer]

No

I love some of the dudes quotes:

"lock me in a biker bar with Toby Keith and his meanest buddies. I couldn’t say otherwise if my life depended on it."

Dude thinks Toby Keith is some kind of tough guy

Sure, he's a Ford truck man, that's all he drives, he ain't got no boundaries, he don't compromise, but a tough guy?

Kris Kristofferson body-bagged him years ago backstage at some Willie Nelson benefit concert.

[tinnitus photography]

I think Trace Adkins both fucks goats and is the progeny of goats

[beantownbubba]

lock me in a biker bar with Toby Keith and his meanest buddies. I couldn’t say otherwise if my life depended on it."

Ha! I thought this meant that even if you tortured him w/ awful music in a locked room he wouldn't change his mind.

I gather from others' comments that he was being more literal than that, which, as others have noted, is really unfortunate.

[John A Arkansawyer]

I think Trace Adkins both fucks goats and is the progeny of goats

Isn't that cannibalism?

Why ask me? You’re the one from Arkansas

I'll have you know we chased the Donner Party clean out of here.

[scotto]

Alcohol poisoning, cannibalism, Toby Keith slams, a Kevin Bacon reference, and goat-fucking.
This thread is Exhibit A in why I love all you motherfuckers.

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

Pretty sure I ended up with alcohol poisoning from a mix of Homebrew and green apple Boone's Farm.

I like the story imagining that you were all wacked out on Sterno, to the point of getting the jake leg

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

I'll have you know we chased the Donner Party clean out of here.

I wasn't talking about the cannibalism part of the equation

[John A Arkansawyer]

I'll have you know we chased the Donner Party clean out of here.

I wasn't talking about the cannibalism part of the equation

I beg your pardon! Judge Roy Moore is an Alabamanian. NOT an Arkansawyer.

[whatwouldcooleydo?]

I think Trace Adkins both fucks goats and is the progeny of goats

I literally spewed beer yesterday, thinking of this, when a guy I know said he was looking forward to seeing Trace Adkins on July 4th

[Smitty]

I'll have you know we chased the Donner Party clean out of here.

I wasn't talking about the cannibalism part of the equation

I beg your pardon! Judge Roy Moore is an Alabamanian. NOT an Arkansawyer.

Guess who attended service and spoke at the after-service dinner last week at my cousin's church? The same cousin who officiated over my wedding and pretty much every funeral I've ever been to? Shitty former country music "star" Mark Wills? Well yeah he was there as well, but actually none other than the underage-goatfucker himself, Roy Moore.

[Tequila Cowboy]

Alcohol poisoning, cannibalism, Toby Keith slams, a Kevin Bacon reference, and goat-fucking.
This thread is Exhibit A in why I love all you motherfuckers.

All of that makes this thread worth it. Chapman's opinion on country music? Not so much.

I know Chapman, by the way. He's been a political beat writer in Chicago since the early eighties and I was pretty involved in Democratic politics in the mid to late eighties. When I worked on Senator Paul Simon's campaign he would have pizzas delivered to us hoping to get some of us to feed him info he wasn't getting through normal channels. Senator Simon had standing orders that when they would arrive we would only accept them if the office paid for them, and by office I mean out of his own pocket. Once he had donuts dropped off with no bill and the Senator had us go down to Michigan Avenue and distribute them to the homeless.