“Think about Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. Sure, maybe you’ve looked at the score, and maybe you’ve heard this or that orchestra play it. But have you ever encountered it in its pure form?” Heuer asked. “When you leave a museum, you know the paintings are still there. But where does Beethoven’s Fifth go when you’re not around? Now we know.”
The “Kazoo & A Bullhorn” tour will see the iconic musician deliver stripped-down versions of his tunes with just a kazoo and bullhorn in yet-to-be-announced locations around the country, giving audiences a concert event like never before.
“I hope you enjoy dying alone under your fucking pile of records,” the letter, a very limited-release edition of one written on out-of-print Ziggy stationery, read. “I guess you forgot today was my birthday. It’s OK, though. I know how much you enjoy purchasing newer versions of records you already own.”
Adamson reports that he was completely caught off-guard by this rare, hand-numbered break up letter.
“We’re psyched that GG will be a part of Coachella 2016. It should really mix things up to have him up there. Plus the abundance of human feces flowing from the inadequate bathroom facilities should provide plenty of ammo.”
Engineers were still working out the kinks as to whether said feces would also be a hologram, or in fact be “real human doo-doo [sic].” “We don’t know exactly what he’ll be working with. We’re developing a new hybrid technology that would allow a hologram to interface the real, tangible world,” said Cal Tech engineer Bev Trill, Ph.D. “Obviously the real thing would create a more exciting, visceral experience for all involved.”
Allin, who passed away in 1993, left a gaping hole in the scene for people who preferred a live show rich with bodily fluids. “So far the closest they’ve come to sending a turd into the crowd was when Muse played.” said longtime Coachella fan Jenny Spiegel.