Is It Possible To Love a Band TOO Much?

[Kudzu Guillotine]

I ask because years ago my nephew asked me why I liked the Grateful Dead too much. This was in the wake of Garcia's passing and I was sketching a picture of Garcia during a fishing trip. I don't remember how I answered him but I can only guess that at his age (he was probably 7 or 8 at the time) he had no perception of just how into music I was (or maybe he did and that's exactly what prompted the question). Meaning, most everyone I knew back then (family members included) were all into music, just not to the degree that I was (and still am). In fact, there were very few people I knew that were as deep into music as myself. That all changed after I went online in the late 90's and was finally able find other people I could relate to on that level. Which brings me to my next question, do you ever feel like you have to keep your appreciation for a certain band or artist in check, least you risk freaking them out with just how much you are into them? I know that last spring I posted an essay I wrote about R.E.M. here only to delete it. I'm not ashamed of it or of my love for R.E.M. but I figured most everyone here had had enough of my posts about them so I removed it. I know that I've been singled out on other boards (as well as in person) for posting too much about one band or artist but the thing is, it's never been for the same artist, which tells me that no matter what people may think, I'm more well rounded musically than I'm given credit for. I know that I often go on kicks or binges on one band until something (no telling what) triggers the next binge. Lately, it's been Led Zeppelin and that doesn't necessarily mean I've been revisiting their back catalog. It just means I've been enjoying following all the publicity that's been generated about them due to the release of Celebration Day as well as the Kennedy Center Honors. For a band that was once so notoriously press-shy, it's been very intriguing to see them pop up everywhere from Letterman's show to CBS Sunday Morning. Who knows who I won't be able to stop listening to in a few weeks but I have a sneaking suspicion that it may be The Archies so consider yourselves forewarned.

[Shakespeare]

i hear ya

whenever i write about that highest tier of bands i love (i've experienced this a lot recently, with my AOTW thread on super furry animals, combined with a renewed interest in that band on another board i post on), i know that i probably sound like a gushing fanboy. i try to tone it down, because no one wants to read overly praise-filled ramblings unless theyre the same level of fanboy as i am, but at a certain point of fan connection to a band, that's basically impossible. im not gonna pretend i can write objectively about certain bands, but thats kinda the point of being a huge fan, isnt it? you're supposed to be abnormally obsessed with your favorite favorite bands. that said, i don't think it's healthy to be unable to find faults in a favorite artist (i fucking love prince, and he's one of those acts that i can instantly go into gushing fanboy mode over, but he's recorded a lot of awful music and i could say about as much negative about him as positive. super furry animals are my favorite band, i love the hell out of them and consider them the best band around, but there are flaws in their catalogue. etc.) but having too much positive to say basically comes with the superfan territory.

on a semi related note, over my music message board days, i've noticed that it's usually a bad idea to discuss a band, even my favorite bands, in the main section of their own forum. its nice to read complimentary posts, but when its nothing but complimentary posts (and extremely defensive reactions to anything not complimentary) there's no possibility of stimulating discussion, so i wont bother. this forum's pretty good about that kind of thing (though not perfect), but i've found the via chicago (wilco) and atease (radiohead) main forums to be absolutely awful places to discuss those bands, but great places to discuss other bands. (case in point, when the last radiohead album came out, the radiohead discussion forum over there was abysmal, filled with absurd theories on what the mysterious release meant, when new music would come out, why this brand new release is instantly the best album of the decade, etc, while the other music forum on the same board had a thread about the album that discussed it rationally and generally acknowledged that it really wasn't that great.) there's a small super furry animals forum that came alive last time they put out a new album, and it was the same way. even when i agreed with the praise, there was a general vibe that only praise was acceptable or you'd be shunned from the community, and it was embarrassing. i can love an album and enjoy reading why someone else doesn't, but a lot of band forums dont create an environment where thats possible. it may not be a case of loving a band too much, but it makes good discussion impossible. i cant help but wonder if thats how i sound when discussing my favorite bands on other boards. hopefully not.

anyway, good topic.

[Flea]

Just fly that freak flag and fuck what anyone else thinks.

[Penny Lane]

No, unless you're the guy in this book:

[Zip City]

No, unless you're the guy in this book:

A cautionary tale if there ever was one

[Beebs]

Loving a band too much is only an issue if you get stuck in a rut. Being head over heels about a band is fine. The first year or two I was into DBT they REALLY meant a lot to me. I was so excited to have discovered them. Sincerely. I have a friend who feels like REM is family. They just meant SO much to him at a particular time in his life that he can't imagine having lived those years without them (he's a bit older than me so I wasn't there to experience it like he did). He has actually said "DBT is your REM" to me.

Obsession is different. I had 4 or 5 years where the Grateful Dead was pretty much all I listened to. They have a huge catalog and I had pretty good connections to bootlegs, so I could listen endlessly without getting border. This was before the interwebs so exposure to "outside" things was harder to come by. I'm glad I appreciated something so thoroughly and I know I had some great times, but after the obsession waned I realized I had passed on getting into some really great music that was going on at the time. Lesson learned.

Then there's the folks who just aren't very curious about much of anything. I know guys who are still listening to Eat a Peach and Waiting for Columbus over and over and over. It never changes and they have zero interest in getting into anything new.

As far as what others think... well...who cares really? As long as I know that I'm listening to a well rounded catalog and that I'm open to new experiences, that's all that matters.

[Clams]

The first year or two I was into DBT they REALLY meant a lot to me. I was so excited to have discovered them. Sincerely. I have a friend who feels like REM is family. They just meant SO much to him at a particular time in his life that he can't imagine having lived those years without them (he's a bit older than me so I wasn't there to experience it like he did). He has actually said "DBT is your REM" to me.

That was me in 2008-2009. I really do miss those days...

[beantownbubba]

Up to a point, enthusiasm, even obsession is what makes life fun. But like anything else it can go too far. When u stop showering, that's a hint that maybe it's time for an intervention. When u spend the baby's formula money on that super rare bootleg of the unreleased first solo album by the guy who played keyboards on one album, you might want to check yourself into rehab.

[Tequila Cowboy]

Obsession is different. I had 4 or 5 years where the Grateful Dead was pretty much all I listened to. They have a huge catalog and I had pretty good connections to bootlegs, so I could listen endlessly without getting border. This was before the interwebs so exposure to "outside" things was harder to come by. I'm glad I appreciated something so thoroughly and I know I had some great times, but after the obsession waned I realized I had passed on getting into some really great music that was going on at the time. Lesson learned.

I understand this completely. In fact I could have written these words. The Grateful Dead for me segued into "jam band hell" only emerging when I discovered DBT and rediscovered my roots in bands like the Replacements and others. Obsession is OK for a while as long as you wake up and smell the (other) roses.

[Cole Younger]

I was like that about a few different bands as far as not really caring about listening to anybody else.

I was that way about Widespread Panic at one time. That llead to a similar deal with Blind Melon. I still like those bands' music but it will never be quite the same again. There was a time when that music was a big deal to me. Now I just like it and listen to it every now and then.

DBT was what happened.

I still llove DBT (obviously) but I guess I've reached a certain point where, I don't know, I'll actually listen to other bands besides them now. There was a period from late 2007 to about this time last year where I just about didn't listen to anything else.

[Cubfan06]

The answer to this question is undoubtedly yes. Yes you can.

[Kudzu Guillotine]

There are R.E.M. fans I'm aware that still can't accept the fact that they're broken up. For me, it wasn't totally unexpected but after reading Buck's comments in their press release, it hit me like a ton of bricks. How could it not after being a fan for 31 years and having the passion for music that I do? That said, I accepted it and I'm not clamoring for a reunion tour. I have no doubt that something like that may happen at some point but damn, after all that time of being a band, let them enjoy their time apart. They deserve it. When and if the time is right, it'll happen but no amount of feet stamping or throwing temper tantrums is going to make it happen any sooner. There's also the very real possibility that they may never play together again and I'm ok with that.

In regards to others being unreceptive to you critiquing their favorite artists, I've definitely experienced that. I've been told by various people that I must not be a fan of Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Buffett, R.E.M., Ryan Adams, etc. because I dared to speak my mind about them. Thing is, I've tried to offer up what I feel is constructive criticism when it comes to those and other artists but for those that are gagging on the Kool-Aid, there is no acceptable level of criticism.

In the 80's, when I was undoubtably at the height of my R.E.M. fandom, I don't think it was to the point that I shut out all other music but they definitely had my undivided attention there for a long time. Same thing for the Truckers when I first got into them in the late 90's. When I say I listened to Gangstsabilly and Pizza Deliverance on an endless loop, I'm serious. Those records were just that infectious to me and I really have no means of explaining why. I think the same thing was true of the whole alt.country thing for a while as well as far as causing a bit of musical tunnel vision. As the years passed, it eventually lifted but it wasn't as if I was living in a musical bubble the entire time as I continued to take in other music that mattered to me outside of the alt.country realm. I've also come to find out that my musical tastes were a lot broader than some of my peers. Some were happy to be confined to being entrenched in one genre or subgenre. To me, variety is the spice of life and not just from a musical standpoint.

[Smitty]

I've "obsessed" over DBT for years now, my enthusiasm really hasn't waned but oddly enough I very rarely listen to them anymore. I spend more time discussing them on here than actually spinning their records.

[one belt loop]

Much of my listening is a series of mini-obsessions. I get really into a band or an album and that's all I listen to for weeks or months. Ok, maybe not ALL, nearly so. And then I get a little burned out on it and have to step back for awhile.

I don't think it's the best way to listen, but when I'm into a particular band, no one else will really do. I've had the experience of deliberately listening to something else and just white-knuckling my way through it - or just through a few songs - and then putting on the current obsession and heaving a huge sigh of relief when those first notes sound. That's addiction, right?

[Iowan]

Loving a band too much is only an issue if you get stuck in a rut. Being head over heels about a band is fine. The first year or two I was into DBT they REALLY meant a lot to me. I was so excited to have discovered them.

That was me in 2007-2008. When I heard DBT for the first time, I had a reaction that was similar to the feeling of falling in love. I just completely immersed myself in that music. There are a handful of bands that I've just become totally obsessed like that for a period of time (DBT, Pearl Jam, The Stones, The Who in), and its always fun.

[beagle001]

Much of my listening is a series of mini-obsessions. I get really into a band or an album and that's all I listen to for weeks or months. Ok, maybe not ALL, nearly so. And then I get a little burned out on it and have to step back for awhile.

I don't think it's the best way to listen, but when I'm into a particular band, no one else will really do. I've had the experience of deliberately listening to something else and just white-knuckling my way through it - or just through a few songs - and then putting on the current obsession and heaving a huge sigh of relief when those first notes sound. That's addiction, right?

Nailed it

[novisad]

Until very recently I was one of those obsessed with R.E.M. A core nucleus of albums, mostly from the Warner period, were all I listened to.

To make a story short, I'm no longer an avid R.E.M. fan. I have moved on.

Although I lamented their breakup in September 2011 it was that event, paradoxically, which helped me put things into perspective. So here's Michael Stipe in 2008 who doesn't want to tour anymore, doesn't want to sing anymore. It's his choice, of course, if he wants to do art, photography, movies, it's a personal choice. But, why would I care about a project (R.E.M.) if its members don't believe in it anymore? Why swear loyalty to a kingdom when its king has abdicated?

So if R.E.M. doesn't want to exist anymore, fine. I have a lot to thank them for introducing me to my current obsession: Robyn Hitchcock.

So right now I barely revisit R.E.M. albums and have become acquainted with Hitchcock, his songs, his lyrics, his humour. "Ye Sleeping Nights of Jesus", "Queen Elvis", "Sickie Boy", "Trams of Old London", "Up to our Nex", "Belltown Ramble", they're timeless classics. Sometimes it's reassuring to know that part of R.E.M: Buck, McCaughey, Rieflin are playing in the background of those Robyn albums.

So, if R.E.M. ever regroups in the future, I frankly don't care anymore. I'm eternally grateful to them for the music they created but there are plenty of other musicians out there to discover.

[Kudzu Guillotine]

R.E.M.'s breakup didn't alter my opinion of them one iota. That said, I'm sure as the years pass and biographies are written, the individual band members will be more vocal about what led to it. Some fans seem to think they were owed a farewell tour but I don't feel that way. When 10,000 Maniacs toured for the last time with Natalie in 1993, they all knew it was their last with her but their audience was absolutely clueless. R.E.M. were always one for doing things their own way. Oftentimes they bent or ever broke the rules they made for themselves but I admire them for bowing out in the manner that they did. Some folks thought it was long overdue while some thought they'd broken up a long time ago.

As for Robyn Hitchcock, Peter Buck's participation is what initially led me to some of his records as well as to seeing him in concert. And yes, the Venus 3 being his back up band had everything to do with finally seeing him live. I've seen him three times within the past few years and really enjoy his concerts. They're often as surreal an experience as his records themselves.

[Cole Younger]

I'm an R.E.M. fan too.

Not on yall's level but definitely a fan. I got into them because of my sister. She played them constantly back in the late 80s and I hated them at first. Then pretneded to hate them for a while. Then got a little older and just admitted that I really liked them.

To me, those guys did what more bands should do.

They didn't have some big, ugly breakup. They didn't do the farewell tour thing. They didn't force it and keep on making records just to make them.

They did what no band ever seems to consider doing; they just retired. And I respect them a lot for doing it that way. They made a lot of great music and I have some great memories associated with their music.

[lotusamerica]

I'm an R.E.M. fan too.

Not on yall's level but definitely a fan. I got into them because of my sister. She played them constantly back in the late 80s and I hated them at first. Then pretneded to hate them for a while. Then got a little older and just admitted that I really liked them.

To me, those guys did what more bands should do.

They didn't have some big, ugly breakup. They didn't do the farewell tour thing. They didn't force it and keep on making records just to make them.

They did what no band ever seems to consider doing; they just retired. And I respect them a lot for doing it that way. They made a lot of great music and I have some great memories associated with their music.

To me, they were like that professor at the university who managed to stay on a decade past prime. I remember when it used to be rumored that they would break up on NYE 1999-2000, and while I like a few songs they did after that, I don't think my life would be worse off if it would've happened then. A lot of my friends jumped off the ship around Document or Green. I think missing Automatic was a loss for them, and some of New Adventures as well, but they don't. After that, it was all hit or miss for me, with a lot more misses that left me cold. It just seemed like a relief when they finally called it - though I'm glad for them that they put out a couple of pretty decent (though not especially appealing to me) records to cap off their career.

[Beebs]

They did what no band ever seems to consider doing; they just retired. And I respect them a lot for doing it that way. They made a lot of great music and I have some great memories associated with their music.

Yup, this. Too few bands are willing to move on when the time comes.

Again, I'm not a big fan. More of a respectful admirer. I really appreciate what they did, when they did it and how they did it rather than having had a very personal connection with the music. I don't think there was ever really a terribly bad period for the band or anything near a sell out. They made a lot of great music for a lot of great years and finally decided it was time.

[Kudzu Guillotine]

Actual question posed to me at a Jimmy Buffett board because I often post about other bands besides Buffett:

Why should the board have an area or thread dedicated to "artists outside of Buffett's realm"? This is a specific artist's fansite, not a general music site like "RollingStone.com". That would be the same as asking why the Harley Owners' Group doesn't have a branch set aside for those people who ride Honda GoldWings.

[linkous]

[RevMatt]

I am a bigger fan of DBT than I otherwise might have been because of 3DD. It is pretty cool to be able to just get in my car by myself, drive a couple hours to a show and meet up with a bunch of people from this site. In the old days I would have to talk one of my friends into going to a show, otherwise I would have to choose between going by myself or not going at all.

If liking one band prevents a person from getting into other artists, especially new ones who have no relationship to their fave band, then I would say they love a band too much. Discovering one great band should inspire a person to search for others.

[Kudzu Guillotine]

If liking one band prevents a person from getting into other artists, especially new ones who have no relationship to their fave band, then I would say they love a band too much. Discovering one great band should inspire a person to search for others.

This thread may not have been the most appropriate place for that post from the Buffett board, perhaps it would have been better off in the "What we like, Why we like and Why some things we don't" thread but I'm just intrigued (and somewhat frustrated) by the mindset that seems to be so predominant there (and on some other boards like LedZeppelin.com) where many of the members don't seem to like to be challenged by music that is outside of their comfort zone. There's also a predominance of fans that aren't fond of constructive criticism. I'm sure that's true of a lot of message boards though, especially ones that are devoted to a single artist or band. However, that's never stopped me from being critical of Buffett, R.E.M., the Truckers, Dylan or any of my favorite artists, especially if it's constructive criticism. That said, no matter how well intentioned, some fans don't cotton to any level or criticism, well meaning or not. They just see red.

[RolanK]

I think maybe one of the main reasons I keep coming back to this board (I've been frequenting others, but loose interest after a while) is this (Other Bands) section.

[RevMatt]

If liking one band prevents a person from getting into other artists, especially new ones who have no relationship to their fave band, then I would say they love a band too much. Discovering one great band should inspire a person to search for others.

This thread may not have been the most appropriate place for that post from the Buffett board, perhaps it would have been better off in the "What we like, Why we like and Why some things we don't" thread but I'm just intrigued (and somewhat frustrated) by the mindset that seems to be so predominant there (and on some other boards like LedZeppelin.com) where many of the members don't seem to like to be challenged by music that is outside of their comfort zone. There's also a predominance of fans that aren't fond of constructive criticism. I'm sure that's true of a lot of message boards though, especially ones that are devoted to a single artist or band. However, that's never stopped me from being critical of Buffett, R.E.M., the Truckers, Dylan or any of my favorite artists, especially if it's constructive criticism. That said, no matter how well intentioned, some fans don't cotton to any level or criticism, well meaning or not. They just see red.

Over the years I've been into several bands with cult followings and each community has their own idiosyncracies. Echo and The Bunnymen fans tend to love psychedelia from all eras, punk and post-punk. Their weak spot is that they have this attitude that is Ian McCulloch doesn't like a certain artist -- Julian Cope, U2, Simple Minds -- then no self-respecting EATB fan should be a fan of that artist either. Of course, to anyone outside The Bunnymen cult the notion of loving The Bunnymen and hating Julian Cope is ludicrous.

I bought The Replacements dvd Color Me Obsessed which is mostly interviews with 'Mats fans plus some critics and people who were involved with the band. The thing I found interesting is that just about every fan considers the period when they first discovered The 'Mats to be that band's high water mark and albums released after that point were not as great. Fans who got into them early say they never topped Sorry Ma and Stink. People who got into them around the time of Let It Be tend to consider the post Twin Tone albums to be too slick. People who got into them around the time of Tim or Pleased To Meet Me tend to say that after those records the band lost focus.

DBT fans? We are probably a bit too close to look at ourselves objectively but one thing I've noticed is that we tend to champion bands that Patterson recommends more than bands outside of the DBT sphere. Opeth, of course, being the exception.

[Kudzu Guillotine]

One of my favorite parts of that Mats documentary is the guy that defends records like Don't Tell A Soul and All Shook Down despite some of the other commentators ripping them apart (including a producer who actually worked on one of the albums). I know that may seem contradictory in light of what I've just said but in this case I found it endearing that he loves those albums, not off-putting. Then again, it may have something to do with that fact that I love those records too.

I tend to follow up on music tips from my favorite bands as well but they don't alway pan out, which I'm quite alright with.

[cortez the killer]

DBT fans? We are probably a bit too close to look at ourselves objectively but one thing I've noticed is that we tend to champion bands that Patterson recommends more than bands outside of the DBT sphere. Opeth, of course, being the exception.

I suppose it depends on which "we" you are referring to. For the most part, I have no clue which bands Patterson Hood is championing. There are a number folks on this board who regularly contribute in the "Other Bands/Music News" section. Over the past 7+ years, I've witnessed a good amount of valuable discovery & discourse that takes place there, especially in the "Listening" thread. And many, if not most, fall outside the "DBT sphere" (whatever that is).

[rlipps]

DBT fans? We are probably a bit too close to look at ourselves objectively but one thing I've noticed is that we tend to champion bands that Patterson recommends more than bands outside of the DBT sphere. Opeth, of course, being the exception.

I suppose it depends on which "we" you are referring to. For the most part, I have no clue which bands Patterson Hood is championing. There are a number folks on this board who regularly contribute in the "Other Bands/Music News" section. Over the past 7+ years, I've witnessed a good amount of valuable discovery & discourse that takes place there, especially in the "Listening" thread. And many, if not most, fall outside the "DBT sphere" (whatever that is).

I'm with Cortez, I find myself discovering most of my new music via people on here, such as Cortez and Smitty. I honestly don't care much for most bands Patterson champions.