This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

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whatwouldcooleydo?
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This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by whatwouldcooleydo? »

This one's got it all: Preacher/Politician. Molestation. Suicide. Arson. Church with bikers and beer. False 9/11 claims. "Blame it on Satan." :shock: :shock: :shock:

Kentucky lawmaker who was accused of molesting a teenage girl likely killed himself

Long, sordid article about said Kentucky lawmaker (well worth reading)
Son, this ain't a dream no more, it's the real thing

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pearlbeer
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by pearlbeer »

I've been reading about him and thinking the same thing. If he had only thrown himself off some sort of mountain......
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scotto
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by scotto »

Or if wigs or go-go boots were somehow involved.

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whatwouldcooleydo?
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by whatwouldcooleydo? »

Geez, I never said it checked every single "sordid PH crime song" box ;)
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dime in the gutter
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by dime in the gutter »

scotto wrote:Or if wigs or go-go boots were somehow involved.
100% chance that dude had wigs and go go boots.

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whatwouldcooleydo?
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by whatwouldcooleydo? »

dime in the gutter wrote:
scotto wrote:Or if wigs or go-go boots were somehow involved.
100% chance that dude had wigs and go go boots.
well, speaking of wigs, there's this

Image
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Howlinwolf
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by Howlinwolf »


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Howlinwolf
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by Howlinwolf »

Here is another one - right in Alabama -

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/01/26/de ... olved.html


It can be titled: " The Double Life"

Give it to Cooley - let him write it.

https://nypost.com/2018/01/26/video-sho ... ore-death/

blackwll
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by blackwll »

Or, the Sheriff in Bibb Co of S Town infamy who killed himself and is the subject of a major lawsuit.

http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index ... rs_pr.html

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Howlinwolf
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by Howlinwolf »

Here is an update to the song " The Double Life"

https://nypost.com/2018/02/22/husband-a ... porn-star/

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George
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by George »

Here's a funny (and sad) story from Cleveland in 1974 that sounds like a DBT song.

A losing team, laid-off factory workers, nudity, fights, guys guzzling beer directly from the taps on the beer trucks, and so much more.



It's not quite as bad as this, but it reminds me of these lines by Mike Cooley:

Stories of corruption, crime and killing, yes it's true
Greed and fixed elections, guns and drugs and whores and booze

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whatwouldcooleydo?
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by whatwouldcooleydo? »

A stolen car, a rattlesnake, uranium, & an open bottle of whiskey

no word on whether the trunk was full of guns
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Flea
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by Flea »

whatwouldcooleydo? wrote:A stolen car, a rattlesnake, uranium, & an open bottle of whiskey

no word on whether the trunk was full of guns
The fucker is traveling with radioactive cancer causing shit and a poisonous snake, and the best they can concoct is "possession of a stolen vehicle, transporting an open container of liquor and driving with a suspended license." Dumbasses. I would have locked him in a lead-lined room with the uranium and the rattler and taken bets on who died first.
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George
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by George »

The story in the news lately about South Carolina lawyer Alex Mudaugh is one that Patterson has already written a song about...sort of. I first heard about it from my wife and my immediate reply was, "The Truckers have a song about that!"

One article of many from Google: South Carolina lawyer Alex Murdaugh enlisted hitman for $10 million life insurance policy, attorney says

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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by LBRod »

George wrote:
Thu Sep 16, 2021 1:35 pm
The story in the news lately about South Carolina lawyer Alex Mudaugh is one that Patterson has already written a song about...sort of. I first heard about it from my wife and my immediate reply was, "The Truckers have a song about that!"

One article of many from Google: South Carolina lawyer Alex Murdaugh enlisted hitman for $10 million life insurance policy, attorney says
He should have hired from out of state.
Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff.

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phungi
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by phungi »

LBRod wrote:
Thu Sep 16, 2021 3:31 pm
He should have hired from out of state.
and a stray fireplace poker would have been a nice touch...
We got messed up minds for these messed up times...

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schlanky
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by schlanky »

Both Hood and Cooley could do something with the Casey White/Vicky White story.

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/charges-filed ... 00993.html
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by beantownbubba »

schlanky wrote:
Mon May 09, 2022 7:49 pm
Both Hood and Cooley could do something with the Casey White/Vicky White story.

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/charges-filed ... 00993.html
Florence, Alabama? Lauderdale County? It couldn't come wrapped in a brighter, bigger bow. Get crackin' guys!
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beantownbubba
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by beantownbubba »

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Last edited by beantownbubba on Wed May 11, 2022 9:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

Swamp
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by Swamp »

Before they were caught I was thinking the Dirty South revisited. Come on Patterson, you can do this!
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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Beaverdam
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Re: This story is begging for a Patterson song to be written

Post by Beaverdam »

When I heard about the story, I immediately thought of this thread. Patterson better get cracking before I beat him to it! The story is ripe with lyrical juiciness!

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