RIP Jyl Freed

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Clams
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RIP Jyl Freed

Post by Clams »

Just read the sad news on Facebook.
I met Jyl Freed at The Star Community Bar in Atlanta GA on Memorial Day weekend 1997.
Sometimes you meet somebody that totally changes your life forever and Jyl Freed was definitely one of those people.
She was cute as a button and so full of life and fire. Hilarious and smart. Whip smart.
It was love at first sight for all of us.
She was playing in a band that night at Bubbapalooza.
The band was Dirtball and it also featured her husband Wes Freed.
That was love at first sight also.

They fell in love with our new band, Drive-By Truckers and invited us to play their monthly hillbilly throw down in Richmond VA.
We played our first show in Richmond at their Capital City Barn Dance and got to play to a packed house thanks to The Freed’s.
That afternoon was my first ever exposure to the art world of Wes Freed and again, it was love at first sight.
Cooley and I decided that day that he had to illustrate this crazy project we were working on called Southern Rock Opera.
The rest as they say is history.

The next several years included many many late wonderful nights staying at The Freed’s.
Every time we would play Richmond, which thanks to them was one of our first big towns, we would stay at their house.
We became very close friends.
I wrote “Heathens” in their living room.
Jyl sang backing vocals on Southern Rock Opera.
She was a force of nature and one of my favorite people in the world.

Jyl got sick about fifteen or so years ago and never got better.
She had Lupus and later was diagnosed with Cancer.
Like so many others in this country she didn’t have proper insurance coverage for a long time so therefore wasn’t fortunate enough to get proper treatment.
(Things got better for her thanks to Obamacare, but it was years into her disease and too little too late.)

I learned yesterday that Jyl has passed away and we are all grieving the loss of that beautiful human spirit and lovely girl we all loved so much.
So much of who she was was taken away years ago as she suffered from the ravages of a body that had turned against her.
At least now, she doesn’t have to suffer anymore.

We love you Jyl Freed and we’ll never forget you and your beautiful spirit.

R.I.P.

Patterson Hood and the entire heartbroken DBT Family
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

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gepman
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by gepman »

Awful news. RIP Jyl.
Stay strong, Wes.

ford911
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by ford911 »

Awful. Best wishes to her friends, family and Wes.

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roland
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by roland »

Saw this on Facebook and am just torn up. I've only had snail and email conversations with Jyl over the years acquiring my Freed collection, but she was always such a great person to deal with. My heart goes out to Wes and the family.

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whatwouldcooleydo?
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by whatwouldcooleydo? »

awful news :cry: :cry: :cry: Condolences to all her family and friends.

Take care of each other, folks, we are fewer than we were before

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Son, this ain't a dream no more, it's the real thing

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blueridgehiker
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by blueridgehiker »

So damn heartbreaking. Love to Wes and the family.
A girl as plain as a primer coat

beantownbubba
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by beantownbubba »

So very, very sorry and sad to hear this. Condolences to Wes and all who loved Jyl.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

roryg81
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by roryg81 »

Such a sweet lady. She's dancing with the space possums now. RIP Jyl.

John A Arkansawyer
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

From the sweetest story my favorite science fiction writer ever told:
In The Man Who Traveled In Elephants, Robert A. Heinlein wrote:“Do be sensible, Martha.” The woman had turned to him. “John, isn’t it time that you two were settling down and making something out of your lives?”

Such people tired him. “It’s for the ‘possums,” he had told her solemnly. “They like to travel.”

“The opossums? What in the world is he talking about, Martha?”

Martha had shot him a private glance, then deadpanned, “Oh, I’m sorry! You see, Johnny raises baby ’possums in his umbilicus.”

“I’m equipped for it,” he had confirmed, patting his round stomach.

That had settled her hash! He had never been able to stand people who gave advice “for your own good.”

Martha had read somewhere that a litter of newborn opossums would no more than fill a teaspoon and that as many as six in a litter were often orphans through lack of facilities in mother ’possum’s pouch to take care of them all. They had immediately formed the Society for the Rescue and Sustenance of the Other Six ’Possums, and Johnny himself had been unanimously selected — by Martha — as the site of Father Johnny’s ’Possum Town.
It seems apropos.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

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Rocky
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by Rocky »

Knew she was sick. This is awful news.

Prayers for her immediate and extended (including DBT) family.
By the time you drop them I'll be gone
And you'll be right where they fall the rest of your life

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roland
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by roland »

I also knew her health wasn't well. I've only had email conversations with Jyl while buying Wes' art, but I'll always cherish the handwritten note she sent to my wife when she bought a print for my birthday several years ago...it's framed with the print. She was always nice, funny, and even in B&W, came off as a great lady. RIP, Jyl, and comfort to Wes and their family.

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ramonz
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by ramonz »

I met Jyl for the first and only time a few days before Christmas last year. We'd emailed maybe 10 years ago when I was inquiring about some custom Wes artwork, but I couldn't get my act together and nothing came of it. But in November of last year, a fine member of this board mentioned to me that he'd spent the afternoon with Jyl in Richmond, and that her one-of-a-kind hospitality and passion for Wes' art was something I probably needed to experience. My brother-in-law in Richmond had recently been diagnosed and operated on for the worst type of brain tumor (glioblastoma), at age 54, leaving him paralyzed on his left side and in really bad shape. I made it a point to try and visit Jyl on my next trip up there, and after a few emails about logistics and timing, we met the Friday before Christmas.

In a two hour sit-down that afternoon, I experienced pretty much every emotion possible as Jyl told me about her bands, her obvious pride in Wes' artwork, her love for DBT, challenges with fucking health insurance, loneliness, how she'd been rocked by the Lupus-Cancer combo, and the people she'd gotten to know through the DBT connection and Wes' artwork. Even burdened with Lupus and Cancer, and clearly in tough shape, Jyl was as alive as anyone I'd ever met, that afternoon in late December.

"Anyone who is a friend of his is a friend of mine," she said of the board member, as she greeted me at the door and offered me a soft drink. We spent an hour talking about the artwork and the stories behind some of the pieces. As we fingered through countless empty FedEx envelopes and brown paper mailing envelopes, I wanted so badly to help her organize the collection. One, to help with the sale of the pieces to help pay for her medical care, but two to make sure it was organized in a way that protected her from someone just taking the art. As she walked into the kitchen while I was looking through the stacks, out of sight for a good two minutes, I was struck by the trust my new friend showed.

I'm sure many of you have been embraced by Jyl in the way I experienced that afternoon. Here's someone who had been dealt a really bad hand by two devastating diseases, but I think also got a lot of pleasure from a few simple things that are in short supply these days: trust in a fellow human being, energy from meeting someone new, and a positive connection based on a few shared experiences and passions.

I tried to assist with the organizing of the artwork after I left, sending her a few simple filing systems from Amazon and reaching out to an archivist at UNC for advice. We talked a few times after my visit, and emailed back and forth until last month. There were gaps when she was having a particularly tough time, but they were always followed by a burst of energy when she was feeling better. I'd promised to come back and visit in May.

What I'll remember most: an incredibly kind and gentle woman. And someone who I am pretty sure took zero shit - if you played by the Golden Rule with her, you were a lifetime friend; if you didn't, well look out. A person who packed a ton of experiences into her life, living it the way she wanted to live it. The cigarettes in the long extender things, a la Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island. What the Lupus had done to her hands. The trust she showed to a relative stranger, based on his friendship with someone she trusted.

I feel a little funny describing that day and what it meant to me. Before we met, I didn't know Jyl at all, other than an email over 10 years ago and what I saw in The Secret to a Happy Ending. But I'll truly never forget her. And her trust. Rest in Peace Jyl. My thoughts and prayers are with her family and Wes.

Daddy_played_poker
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by Daddy_played_poker »

ramonz wrote:I met Jyl for the first and only time a few days before Christmas last year. We'd emailed maybe 10 years ago when I was inquiring about some custom Wes artwork, but I couldn't get my act together and nothing came of it. But in November of last year, a fine member of this board mentioned to me that he'd spent the afternoon with Jyl in Richmond, and that her one-of-a-kind hospitality and passion for Wes' art was something I probably needed to experience. My brother-in-law in Richmond had recently been diagnosed and operated on for the worst type of brain tumor (glioblastoma), at age 54, leaving him paralyzed on his left side and in really bad shape. I made it a point to try and visit Jyl on my next trip up there, and after a few emails about logistics and timing, we met the Friday before Christmas.

In a two hour sit-down that afternoon, I experienced pretty much every emotion possible as Jyl told me about her bands, her obvious pride in Wes' artwork, her love for DBT, challenges with fucking health insurance, loneliness, how she'd been rocked by the Lupus-Cancer combo, and the people she'd gotten to know through the DBT connection and Wes' artwork. Even burdened with Lupus and Cancer, and clearly in tough shape, Jyl was as alive as anyone I'd ever met, that afternoon in late December.

"Anyone who is a friend of his is a friend of mine," she said of the board member, as she greeted me at the door and offered me a soft drink. We spent an hour talking about the artwork and the stories behind some of the pieces. As we fingered through countless empty FedEx envelopes and brown paper mailing envelopes, I wanted so badly to help her organize the collection. One, to help with the sale of the pieces to help pay for her medical care, but two to make sure it was organized in a way that protected her from someone just taking the art. As she walked into the kitchen while I was looking through the stacks, out of sight for a good two minutes, I was struck by the trust my new friend showed.

I'm sure many of you have been embraced by Jyl in the way I experienced that afternoon. Here's someone who had been dealt a really bad hand by two devastating diseases, but I think also got a lot of pleasure from a few simple things that are in short supply these days: trust in a fellow human being, energy from meeting someone new, and a positive connection based on a few shared experiences and passions.

I tried to assist with the organizing of the artwork after I left, sending her a few simple filing systems from Amazon and reaching out to an archivist at UNC for advice. We talked a few times after my visit, and emailed back and forth until last month. There were gaps when she was having a particularly tough time, but they were always followed by a burst of energy when she was feeling better. I'd promised to come back and visit in May.

What I'll remember most: an incredibly kind and gentle woman. And someone who I am pretty sure took zero shit - if you played by the Golden Rule with her, you were a lifetime friend; if you didn't, well look out. A person who packed a ton of experiences into her life, living it the way she wanted to live it. The cigarettes in the long extender things, a la Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island. What the Lupus had done to her hands. The trust she showed to a relative stranger, based on his friendship with someone she trusted.

I feel a little funny describing that day and what it meant to me. Before we met, I didn't know Jyl at all, other than an email over 10 years ago and what I saw in The Secret to a Happy Ending. But I'll truly never forget her. And her trust. Rest in Peace Jyl. My thoughts and prayers are with her family and Wes.
After some time processing my thoughts about Jyl's death I was still having a hard time putting them into words for a post to honor her properly. Once again, the brilliant, talented, genuine people in our 3DD community come through to articulate their thoughts so well. Thank you Ramonz for saying what was on my heart. I too was able to spend a special afternoon with Jyl that will stick with me forever. The gift of being able to hear Jyl's stories, explore the art and enjoy her hospitality showed me that I was in the presence of a beautiful and spirited person. While I was thanking her for the opportunity, she continued to thank me for the amazing visit. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those close to Jyl and to those touched by her in some way. I'll never forget her kindness.
"to love is to feel pain there ain't no way around it."

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blessedcurse
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by blessedcurse »

Beautiful post Ramonz -
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. - Thoreau

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Clams
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by Clams »

blessedcurse wrote:Beautiful post Ramonz -
Yes. Well done, ramonz.
Everyone needs a friend, everyone needs a fuck

John A Arkansawyer
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Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by John A Arkansawyer »

blessedcurse wrote:Beautiful post Ramonz -
I agree. That was great. Really great. Thank you for writing it, Ramonz.
The sooner we put those assholes in the grave&piss on the dirt above it, the better off we'll be

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Rocky
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Location: Richmond, Va.

Re: RIP Jyl Freed

Post by Rocky »

Yeah me too brother.

I have a buddy that just received a cancer diagnosis and it's hard as fuck to process. Your kind words help.
By the time you drop them I'll be gone
And you'll be right where they fall the rest of your life

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