RIP Ben Rudin "UncleFrank23"

Talk about the songs, the shows, and anything else DBT related here.

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sg207
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by sg207 »

Good to hear from you Ben, no worries on the venting, I think everybody here is up for it.

Hopefully you weren't offended by my last post. I suppose it's obvious that things aren't "well." Still, I just wanted you to know you hadn't been forgotten around here.
Just put the goddamn record on and enjoy it

UncleFrank23
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by UncleFrank23 »

sg207 wrote:Good to hear from you Ben, no worries on the venting, I think everybody here is up for it.

Hopefully you weren't offended by my last post. I suppose it's obvious that things aren't "well." Still, I just wanted you to know you hadn't been forgotten around here.


Absolutely no offense taken... none of my venting was directed at anyone on the board... it was meant to be more about my frustration with not being able to give an honest answer to some folks that I know.

I should probably clarify, I've gotten a handful of PMs from 3DDers asking how I'm doing... I am NOT venting about those.
Somewhere between anguish and acceptance.

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Tequila Cowboy
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Tequila Cowboy »

Ben, vent all you would like. We think about you often.

Cheers,

Dean
We call him Scooby Do, but Scooby doesn’t do. Scooby, is not involved

beantownbubba
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by beantownbubba »

Vent here as much as you want/need to. That's what we're here for, or one of the things, anyway.

FWIW, your experience is absolutely typical of anyone w/ a serious illness. The details may vary but the attitudes, issues, and what do I say? concerns are exactly the same. Everyone's different, so again this is just FWIW, but my solution to the how's he [my son] doing question is to determine who's asking out of politeness and who wants to know. The latter got an honest but not overly detailed answer as of that moment, the former got pretty much exactly the phrases you use. And that's not to diss the polite people, it's just the way it is.

The guy w/ the hands, though, geez, i don't know about that one :shock:

I admire the way you handled things with your kids. Tough moment for sure.

I'm sure i've said this before, but remember that most people want to help, but they don't always know how. While it might be difficult for you to ask, one thing you might do is to have someone you trust go to your office when you're not there and explain to your co-workers what kinds of assistance you might need now or at any given moment. Depending on exactly what we're talking about that might mean specific people volunteering to do specific things or it might mean creating a general awareness and providing the knowledge to allow others to be helpful. Just trying to adapt some of the things that have worked for us to your situation - if it's not helpful, well, i've been ignored before.

And keep venting. I'm sure you've got plenty to vent about.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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GW in IA
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by GW in IA »

Was just thinking about you, while I was out mowing, come in here to check the board, and there you are :)

Really glad to see you around. I hope to get back tonight and say more if I get some time. but I just think its amazing how a few details change, the storyline is the same. very much like what Patty has gone through.

Again, great to hear from you.
Reluctantly, our hero rises to the day, with a moan and a curse to an absent God.

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GW in IA
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by GW in IA »

And listen to Bubba, for he is wise.
Reluctantly, our hero rises to the day, with a moan and a curse to an absent God.

UncleFrank23
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by UncleFrank23 »

Hey all - I thought I'd post an update. Besides, the last time I posted I was a little bitchy and in a bad mood, and today I'm not. :lol:

I'm not going to bombard you with every detail of how I'm doing physically. GW said it best... it's a proggressive illness so it progresses. I'm still working/driving/typing but everything is harder to do and takes a long time. (Getting ready in the morning used to take 20 minutes, now it takes 40). I get tired easy if I have to stand for any length of time. Either me or my wife posts on my caring bridge blog (almost always with DBT titles) every couple weeks, so you can always check that out if you're so inclined. (I'll link to it at the bottom). But I did have a couple cool things to mention (although only one is 3DD related).

First of all friends of ours have two daughters (6th and 4th grades). We get together often and are always surprised how well our kids get along (my boys are 7th and 5th grade and the boy/girl thing doesn't always work well AND they go to different schools so they don't have the same circle of friends). Anyway, the 4th grader is having a birthday party coming up (a gymnastics party for her school girl friends, so my boys wouldn't be invited) and her mom forwarded me the invitation today. It made me want to cry...

Dear Friends,

One of my dad’s best friends (and my friend too), Ben, has a disease called ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). He is really sick and I want to help him get better. Right now he has a lot of trouble using his arms and he gets tired very easily. He went to our school (a long time ago) just like we do. Instead of birthday presents I would appreciate if you would give a donation to the ALS Association.

Why couldn’t our donation be the one that finds a cure and helps Ben be able to get better?

Thanks!


On a second note... something TC wrote in a different thread really resonated with me..

I am grateful and humbled by the power of music and the fellowship of those that understand it.


I know I'm preaching to the choir on this but, I've always felt this way, but never knew how to articulate it quite like that. It's an absolutely perfect phrase. I talked a little in the Patterson/Chicago thread about how much I enjoyed the City Winery show, but the only people I know that understand how powerful that can be are on this board. It was a perfect night for me not only emotionally but phsically as well (impecable sound, a super tight band and a seated venue). I tried explaining how great it was to my family and friends, but most of them didn't get it. We are all so lucky to "get" how powerful music can be (even if we all don't agree on which artists move us) and how it can not only get us through terrible things, but elevate feelings that are already good. It's impossible to truly express the emotions in my head while watching Patterson and the Rumblers play their hearts out. May none of us never lose our passion for music.

I am grateful and humbled by the power of music and the fellowship of those that understand it.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/benrudin
Somewhere between anguish and acceptance.

beantownbubba
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by beantownbubba »

That's some good writing there, Ben.

Kids will always amaze you (collective you). The spontaneous acts of support my son's friends have given him over the years rank among the best moments of a bad time. Coincidentally, I was just thinking this am about the girl who cut her hair (representing multiple years of growth) to donate to one of those wig making groups for cancer patients. It touches you in a way nothing else can.

Wife wore her Truckin' w/ Ben t shirt this morning :D
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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Tequila Cowboy
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Tequila Cowboy »

Ben, both Lurleen & I wear your shirts with great pride. She wore hers at the DBT Memphis show in fact. I'm grateful for those Patterson shows as well nice venue, great music and a chance to spend a little time with you and your wife.
We call him Scooby Do, but Scooby doesn’t do. Scooby, is not involved

UncleFrank23
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by UncleFrank23 »

Hey all-

I know I haven't posted much lately. Other than my Athens post I haven't said much in six months or so. To be honest typing had to just gotten too difficult. The good news is I finally have voice recognition software on my home computer. This seems to work really well. It was so difficult to edit the software on the iPad that they got to be more trouble than it's worth.

I still look back on Athens with very fond memories. It's also kind of a benchmark for me, because my memories from that weekend are so vivid it's easy for me to track my progression since then. (Although it does seem ironic that my memories are both of vivid and hazy at the same time) :lol:

Back in January I had just stopped driving, could still wear jeans, and while I was being carted around in a chair I could still walk somewhat if I needed to. (I still laugh about Patty teasing me that walking was showing off). Stopping work was something that I knew was going to happen" down the road". I was still able to hold half a glass of beer. Hell, I was able to pick up a sandwich or burger.

But like GW has said, it's a progressive disease and it progresses. I can still walk unassisted but not very far. I've had a couple pretty bad falls so I don't do it much anymore. (Including one that I'm 99% sure was a concussion). The doctor recommended that I use my power scooter even around the house. We now have a ramp built and should have an accessible van by the end of the week. A big-honking-transformer-like power wheelchair is the next step. I drink exclusively out of a straw and have to have someone feed me. I stopped working May 17. I will say my company was outstanding, and they really did let me hang on as long as I could.

All in all, we're working through it. Boys are involved in sports. And since Becca is a teacher, we have the summer look forward to. We did get to see the Truckers in St. Louis on May 24. I'm sure I'll post more about that in its own thread. I plan on being on here more often in them looking forward to being a little more connected again.
Somewhere between anguish and acceptance.

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Clams
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Clams »

Good to have you back, dude. Cheers from Philly!

:)
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bovine knievel
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by bovine knievel »

Good to hear from you, Ben.
“Excited people get on daddy’s nerves.” - M. Cooley

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Jonicont
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Jonicont »

Howdy Ben
Always go to the show

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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Lone Wolf1 »

every day i think of you and your family.the red ALS bracelet your wife put on me at Nucci's Space is why. i wish you well and hope to see y'all at a rock show soon

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pearlysnaps
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by pearlysnaps »

Good to see you around, Ben.

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Tequila Cowboy
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Tequila Cowboy »

Hey Ben. Glad to have you back!
We call him Scooby Do, but Scooby doesn’t do. Scooby, is not involved

beantownbubba
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by beantownbubba »

Happy to see you here, Ben.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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blessedcurse
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by blessedcurse »

Lone Wolf1 wrote:every day i think of you and your family.the red ALS bracelet your wife put on me at Nucci's Space is why.


Same here...have not taken it off since. Meeting the 3 of you in Athens is a great memory. Nice to hear from you and I look forward to meeting up again.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. - Thoreau

uncle rickey
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by uncle rickey »

Thanks for posting, Ben. I'm really glad you were at the STL show. I've still got the ALS bracelet your wife gave me, too, though it's a little tight on my wrist ;)

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lynne
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by lynne »

Also glad to hear from you Ben. As always, love and good thoughts going your way!
I just want to stay in that better time and place....

UncleFrank23
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by UncleFrank23 »

Hey everyone, I thought I'd give you guys a little update because last week was the ALS support walk in my town. It was really cool, we easily had the biggest team (over 100 walkers on the Truckin' with Ben team) and raised the second most amount of money for our ALS chapter (over $11,000!).

Anyway, I wanted to show a picture from the day because I still think it's cool that I can have all these people wearing Cooley bird shirts. (All the light blue and tan shirts, have big Cooley birds on the back and the kids in the front in red are my son's baseball team and they have a Cooley bird patch on their sleeve. It's a little small but you should be able to see it on the banner as well)

Image
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beantownbubba
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by beantownbubba »

Nice work! (The walk, the money and the cooleybirds)

Counteracts those assholes in florida.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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GW in IA
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by GW in IA »

You know how it is. I don't really have much to say, but wanted you to know we're thinking about you guys. (always)
:)
Reluctantly, our hero rises to the day, with a moan and a curse to an absent God.

UncleFrank23
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by UncleFrank23 »

Thanks to everyone that made this years homecoming so special for me. Becca updated our caring bridge page. Please see earlier posts for the link. I hope everyone made it home. Now time for some rest.

Ben
Somewhere between anguish and acceptance.

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Clams
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Clams »

So glad you got to see the shows, Ben. It was great seeing you and your crew!
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Tequila Cowboy
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Tequila Cowboy »

Clams wrote:So glad you got to see the shows, Ben. It was great seeing you and your crew!


X2

So glad y'all had a good time. See you in St. Louis?
We call him Scooby Do, but Scooby doesn’t do. Scooby, is not involved

Lone Wolf1
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by Lone Wolf1 »

UncleFrank23 wrote:Thanks to everyone that made this years homecoming so special for me. Becca updated our caring bridge page. Please see earlier posts for the link. I hope everyone made it home. Now time for some rest.

Ben

really, really good to see you. i've thought of you daily for over a year since i put on that ALS bracelet your wife gave me at Nuci's. it reminds me of how blessed i am. keep Truckin' Ben

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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS

Post by CooleyGirl »

It looks like this year's ALS Walk is coming up on June 7th. Just thought I'd share this here in case anyone is interested in walking with Ben or possibly making a donation.
Good luck, Ben, to you and your family!

http://web.alsa.org/site/TR/Walks/Saint ... fr_id=9871
Jay Gonzalez - the Swiss Army Knife of Musicians - Patterson Hood

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Tequila Cowboy
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS ***UPDATED FOR 2104

Post by Tequila Cowboy »

Folks I've brought this back up so we can help Ben and his family in the last month before their walk on June 7. Here's the link again:

http://web.alsa.org/site/TR/Walks/Saint ... fr_id=9871
We call him Scooby Do, but Scooby doesn’t do. Scooby, is not involved

beantownbubba
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Re: Truckin' With Ben Against ALS ***UPDATED FOR 2104

Post by beantownbubba »

Reminder: This weekend.

Ben's team has met their goal, but they're real close to an even 10 grand which seems like a nice number to hit. If you've been thinking about it, this would be a good time to make that contribution.

Good luck this weekend, walkers!
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

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