I'm not sure I ever looked at these lyrics before. Funny how Patterson's got it written up as part song/part screenplay. And as usual, there's a serious message mixed in with the laughs - in this case delivered in the last two lines of the song.
(NEWS FLASH!!!) (scene: the press corps have descended upon the White House, a spokesperson begins to speak:)
"They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill We called every scholar, reporter, and genius Has anyone seen the President's penis?"
"It ain't in the Congress or Judiciary It ain't in the Smithsonian or that big ole library an astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus Has anyone seen the President's penis?"
(now the entire press corp. erupts in song:) "THE PRESIDENT'S PENIS IS MISSING OLE'!!! WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW, EVERY NIGHT EVERYDAY LORD, WON'T YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENT'S PENIS?"
(at this point, legendary news man Walter Cronkite returns from the moon to add his commentary:) "Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways in the 80's we elected one missing his brain George Washington caught a cold he couldn't explain and we all know the truth about Thomas Jefferson's name"
(suddenly William Randolph Hurst rises from the grave and bellows out in an Orson Welles type voice:) ";Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn't no square with that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair and all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didn't care and John Kennedy's penis was SEEN EVERYWHERE!
(once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song:) "THE PRESIDENT'S PENIS IS MISSING OLE'!!! WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW EVERY NIGHT EVERY DAY LORD WON'T YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENT'S PENIS?"
(the scene shifts to Sen. John Glenn, wandering pensively, somewhere in space:) "Them outer space people would laugh if they'd seen us all this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness but we're more concerned with the President's penis"
THE END?
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 11:59 am
by GuitarManUpstairs
So who's gonna be the first to say they've always had a "soft spot" for The President's Penis?
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:03 pm
by sactochris
What's mising is Obama's balls. Someone needs to write a song about that.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:50 pm
by Duke Silver
Huh. I kinda hate this song (to the point that I deleted it from my digital copy of PD), but I enjoyed reading the lyrics with Patterson's stage direction. Kinda makes me want to go back and listen to it, but now I can't. Life is cruel sometimes.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:08 pm
by mwh
I like the ole's
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:17 pm
by Tequila Cowboy
This has never been a favorite but the words ARE funny, even more so when you read them. It would have made for one hell of an SNL skit.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:45 pm
by Swamp
I like to refer to today as "turn a blind eye day" but I digress. And yes, those last 2 lines are perfect. Anyways another one from the request show and the Swamp vault. The :40 mark would be the perfect picture for the elect Cooley/Patterson shirts
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:54 pm
by dime in the gutter
remember what a big deal that whole fucking thing was. it was all the news or washington talked about for 3 fucking years....kinda funny that so many of the impeach crowd have had similar personal failings since.
slick willie's taped deposition is still one of my all time favorite moments in human history. fucking brilliant tv. watergate tapes were too high brow....this was about blow jobs and semen stained blue dresses. only a conflicted son of the south could pull that off.....made me proud.
the question is......how did patterson out absurd a cosmically absurd situation while using well known history as his basis of perspective? or maybe that was the easy part. it is america.
i think it's fucking hysterical.
kashmir it ain't....but then again, the opposite also holds true.
ole'.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:03 pm
by Tequila Cowboy
dime in the gutter wrote:remember what a big deal that whole fucking thing was. it was all the news or washington talked about for 3 fucking years....kinda funny that so many of the impeach crowd have had similar personal failings since.
slick willie's taped deposition is still one of my all time favorite moments in human history. fucking brilliant tv. watergate tapes were too high brow....this was about blow jobs and semen stained blue dresses. only a conflicted son of the south could pull that off.....made me proud.
the question is......how did patterson out absurd a cosmically absurd situation while using well known history as his basis of perspective? or maybe that was the easy part. it is america.
i think it's fucking hysterical.
kashmir it ain't....but then again, the opposite also holds true.
ole'.
Yeah, it's posts like this that make me occasionally wish we had a "like" button on 3DD. Then the moment passes. Right on dime, you nailed it.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:35 am
by UncleFrank1990
Love this song. LOVE the last two lines. There's some hard truth there. Bonus points for watching a documentary on the Clinton scandal just this past hour....
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:09 am
by RMD
It's not that I don't care for this tune, just has a very "B" side feel to it. I feel PD would be a even stronger album without it. Sticks out like a sore thumb to me. I always skip it.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:14 pm
by Gator McKlusky
Its funny the first time you listen to it; the second time not so much and it is just irritating to me now. my least favorite Patterson song.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:35 pm
by Zip City
Gator McKlusky wrote:Its funny the first time you listen to it; the second time not so much and it is just irritating to me now. my least favorite Patterson song.
+1
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:54 pm
by 'Scratch
Duke Silver wrote:Huh. I kinda hate this song (to the point that I deleted it from my digital copy of PD), but I enjoyed reading the lyrics with Patterson's stage direction. Kinda makes me want to go back and listen to it, but now I can't. Life is cruel sometimes.
I'm with you on this. The lyrics may be good, but the song...well, it gets skipped by default.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:13 am
by cortez the killer
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 6:06 am
by RolanK
Not one of my favourites either, and I normally do not gravitate towards music that was written with the intention to be funny and humorous. However I see this as an example of Pattersons ability to sit down and write a song that follows an idea and in a very uncompromision way is able to communicate a story and at the same time make it work musically.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:33 pm
by bovine knievel
this song makes me laugh
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:35 pm
by Kudzu Guillotine
One of the few songs by the Truckers that I skip on a pretty regular basis, the others being "Your Daddy Hates Me" and "You and Your Crystal Meth". Not too bad considering how many albums they have out now.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:46 am
by fistfightsandtears
Gator McKlusky wrote:Its funny the first time you listen to it; the second time not so much and it is just irritating to me now. my least favorite Patterson song.
yeah
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:48 pm
by pearlbeer
Resurrecting this thread, in hopes that tomorrow, the new President's Penis is Missing.....permanently.
...and now this song needs to be added back into the Rock Show Rotation.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:56 pm
by beantownbubba
pearlbeer wrote:Resurrecting this thread, in hopes that tomorrow, the new President's Penis is Missing.....permanently.
...and now this song needs to be added back into the Rock Show Rotation.
Old songs never die, they just get reinterpreted.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:07 pm
by ramonz
beantownbubba wrote:
pearlbeer wrote:Resurrecting this thread, in hopes that tomorrow, the new President's Penis is Missing.....permanently.
...and now this song needs to be added back into the Rock Show Rotation.
Old songs never die, they just get reinterpreted.
That's hilarious.
Re: dbt track # 90 The President's Penis Is Missing
