dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

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Clams
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dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Clams »

Merry Christmas y'all...


I'm a sinister elf,
With a sinister plan,
Santa's little helper,
With too much time on my hands,
He's got a fine lookin' wife,
For such an old man,
I can see her lookin' at me,
When there is no one else around.
And I'm countin' down the days to December 24th,
The old mans in his sleigh,
I am sneakin' in the back door,
She asks if I know what the candy cane is for,
While he's slidin' down the chimney,
I'll be comin' back for more.
Not really worried 'bout the old man findin' out,
'Cuz me and Rudolph worked the whole thing out,
It's not about vengeance or anything like that,
I just want a little sex,
And the old man off my back.
Rudy's out for blood,
'Cuz he hates the fat old man,
'Cuz he caught him in the stables with his fat little hands
On a female reindeer he likes named Wynona,
And the last thing he wants to see is Santa on her,
So we're loadin' up the toy sack with heroin and crack,
We sent Santa off to Georgia,
He ain't comin' back,
And we call up an evil green Grinch,
To tell him Santa's holdin',
And they'll have him on the chain gang,
And the electric chair,
The electric chair,
And there'll be a happy ending,
All you girls and all you boys
There won't be no more Santa,
There won't be no more toys,
There'll be no stoppin' Rudy and Wynona,
And I'll be taking off Mrs. Claus' Kimono
I'll be taking off Mrs. Claus' Kimono
I'll be taking off Mrs. Claus' Kimono
I'll be taking off Mrs. Claus' Kimono
Merry Christmas

note - lyrics are not official (the DBT site doesn't have lyrics for The Fine Print, so I had to go to one of those bogus lyric sites)
Last edited by Clams on Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:04 am, edited 2 times in total.
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beantownbubba
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by beantownbubba »

Whoops. You'd think I'd know the difference between a post and a pm by now.
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dime in the gutter
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by dime in the gutter »

classic patterson. some funky shit happening up north.

love this song.....especially the shot at newt.

so we're loadin' up the toy sack with heroin and crack,
we sent Santa off to georgia,
he ain't comin' back,
and we call up an evil green grinch,
to tell him santa's holdin',
and they'll have him on the chain gang,
and the electric chair,
the electric chair


i hear it as "we'll call up newt green grinch"

merry christmas, mother fuckers.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Sterling Big Mouth »

When I first heard DBT - Steve McQueen via Pandora while I was on the Skynyrd station (for which I'll be forever thankful) - I then started poking around to see if I liked the band more than the one song. I then found Nine Bullets and loved it, and then heard Mrs Claus' Kimono. I loved that filthy blues riff, played by a really solid band, and my god the lyrics. So dark and hilarious. Great story and real clever (I always cringe/laugh when I hear the "with his fat little hands" line). I then downloaded SRO and the rest is history.

Great job picking this one, Clams.

* * *

I was just about to post this and thought that Mrs Klaus' Kimono could be a good song for introducing people to the band (especially at this time of year). The music is chill, but undeniably well done, and the lyrics are pure Patterson: well thought-out story with the great details that make it hum, while also being as I wrote above, dark yet funny. Now I'd prefer to introduce people to The Living Bubba, Putting People on the Moon, Birthday Boy, etc., but Mrs. Klaus' Kimono is a little more accessible. Everyone knows the Santa Claus story, so it's easy to understand just how screwed up Patterson's take is, and it's easier to hear the lyrics due to the slow slightly quiet blues riff. It could be an easier way of showing someone that DBT is a different animal.
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jimmyjack
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by jimmyjack »

Sorry - this one's in my bottom 5.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Iowan »

jimmyjack wrote:Sorry - this one's in my bottom 5.


I wouldn't go that far, but when TFP came out, I had been a hardcore fan for several years, and this one came off to me as a Patterson throw-a-way, covering the same kind of territory he had mined a million times, but putting some silly Christmas angle to it.

I have warmed up to it from my initial impression however, for the exact reasons others have mentioned.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Duke Silver »

jimmyjack wrote:Sorry - this one's in my bottom 5.


(nods)
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ScottyC
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by ScottyC »

Sterling Big Mouth -- I am glad this is not the first DBT song that I heard. To me, it is a throw away ditty, and if I had heard this first (there are other songs that I feel the same way about) I might not have my addiction that I have now.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Sterling Big Mouth »

I'm surprised about the negative reaction to the song, but everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Like I said, I know it's not as powerful as A World of Hurt or anything of that ilk (the throwaway ditty complaint), but not every song has to be. The lyrics appealed to me because they're legitimately funny and perverse. They also made me think this Patterson guy has a ridiculous imagination and is good at turning stories into songs - I wonder what else he's got . . .

I don't see how the smokey bar room blues are a problem. Strong bass line, good guitar licks, tight brush drums and the band's in balance.
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Clams
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Clams »

Found this in my inbox this evening
(yes he gave his blessing to post it)
(and bonus points to dime in the gutter for making the Gingrich connection)

Subject: To Clams From Patterson
David:
Hope you and yours have a Happy Holidays.
Noticed you put up Mrs. Claus' Kimono for the song of the week.
The person who wrote in that it was supposed to be Newt Green Grinch is absolutely correct BTW.
Funny thing, when I wrote that one (in 1995) Newt was at the height of his 90's powers and being new to Georgia, I wrote the song to acknowledge how disgusted I was with him.
(I can't imagine not being disgusted by that asshole, even if I were a Republican).
Then he went away and by the time the DBT version came out on TFP he was this almost forgotten (I thought) footnote to our country's and especially The South's penchant for electing dickheads.
Now He's Back!!!
Guess my little old song is unfortunately timely again.
I know most TDD folks don't cotton to my satirical side, but I feel as strongly about those songs as the "classics".
Songs can't really change the world very often but sometimes you just have to laugh.

Have a great 2012 and thanks for your loyal support of our band.
See you at The Rock Show.
Patterson
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ScottyC
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by ScottyC »

Clams wrote:Found this in my inbox this evening
(yes he gave his blessing to post it)
(and bonus points to dime in the gutter for making the Gingrich connection)

Subject: To Clams From Patterson
David:
Hope you and yours have a Happy Holidays.
Noticed you put up Mrs. Claus' Kimono for the song of the week.
The person who wrote in that it was supposed to be Newt Green Grinch is absolutely correct BTW.
Funny thing, when I wrote that one (in 1995) Newt was at the height of his 90's powers and being new to Georgia, I wrote the song to acknowledge how disgusted I was with him.
(I can't imagine not being disgusted by that asshole, even if I were a Republican).
Then he went away and by the time the DBT version came out on TFP he was this almost forgotten (I thought) footnote to our country's and especially The South's penchant for electing dickheads.
Now He's Back!!!
Guess my little old song is unfortunately timely again.
I know most TDD folks don't cotton to my satirical side, but I feel as strongly about those songs as the "classics".
Songs can't really change the world very often but sometimes you just have to laugh.

Have a great 2012 and thanks for your loyal support of our band.
See you at The Rock Show.
Patterson


How f'ing cool is this band??

Seriously the best in the world!!

beantownbubba
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by beantownbubba »

If only electing dickheads was just a "southern thing."

Yeah, ScottyC.
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard

colodogdoc
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by colodogdoc »

Pretty f'ing cool. Think I will start a thread entitled: "Mike Cooley, boxers or briefs?" and see if any PM's come in. :lol:

I was listening to this song the other day and thinking about how timely the Newt Gingrich line is now. Seriously can't stand the guy. Few people in the public eye have made as much of a mockery of the institution of marriage as that asshole, yet still have the balls to claim that gay marriage would somehow subvert it.
"Mamma always said electric guitars will give you herpes."

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by ariedl »

I just went looking to see if I could figure out what version I first heard of "Mrs. Claus' Kimono", and it's probably from this show:
http://oneofthesedays.org/search/setlis ... 12&Date=06

I've also heard the original version from "Memories of Snake Handling", and it's pretty similar to what ended up on "The Fine Print".

Here's a note from Patterson on the Yahoo board, dated 12/21/2000:

Hey y'all,
Got a chance to poke in on the list today. I wrote Mrs. Clauses Kimona in the fall of 95. Recorded it 9/95 on 4 track at Cooleys apt. in b-ham
with Cooley on gtr and drum machine (simulating brushes) and Earl Hicks on bass (he did an outstanding job). That's when we decided that we wanted him to be our bassist. It was released in 10/95 on 2nd (i think) Flagpole x-mas comp. Probably out of print, but I don't know. It was also the 1st song on my solo cassette release "Memories of Snake Handling" also released fall 95. Also out of print. (Cover by Byron Wilkes)

...

we plan to record an x-mas album down the line.
It's about 1/2 written.

Not too much else to tell.
PLEASE keep it between the ditches and have a safe and wonderful holiday
season and an incredible 2001.
Talk to you soon.
Love,
Patterson


I would love to know what other Christmas songs Patterson has written, and if they're in the same vein!

Alec

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Kudzu Guillotine »

ariedl wrote:I just went looking to see if I could figure out what version I first heard of "Mrs. Claus' Kimono", and it's probably from this show:
http://oneofthesedays.org/search/setlis ... 12&Date=06

I've also heard the original version from "Memories of Snake Handling", and it's pretty similar to what ended up on "The Fine Print".

Here's a note from Patterson on the Yahoo board, dated 12/21/2000:

Hey y'all,
Got a chance to poke in on the list today. I wrote Mrs. Clauses Kimona in the fall of 95. Recorded it 9/95 on 4 track at Cooleys apt. in b-ham
with Cooley on gtr and drum machine (simulating brushes) and Earl Hicks on bass (he did an outstanding job). That's when we decided that we wanted him to be our bassist. It was released in 10/95 on 2nd (i think) Flagpole x-mas comp. Probably out of print, but I don't know. It was also the 1st song on my solo cassette release "Memories of Snake Handling" also released fall 95. Also out of print. (Cover by Byron Wilkes)

...

we plan to record an x-mas album down the line.
It's about 1/2 written.

Not too much else to tell.
PLEASE keep it between the ditches and have a safe and wonderful holiday
season and an incredible 2001.
Talk to you soon.
Love,
Patterson


I would love to know what other Christmas songs Patterson has written, and if they're in the same vein!

Alec


I don't know if Patterson wrote it or not but I believe there's another DBTs (or Adam's House Cat) song called "Santa's Out of Rehab for Christmas".

In regards to Memories of Snake Handling, I remember reading about that on the Yahoo list but I didn't realize it was in circulation amongst the fans. If so, I would sure love to hear it. If I'm not mistaken the artwork for it can be seen during The Secret To A Happy Ending in one of the segments featuring Byron Wilkes.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Gang Green »

If Newt becomes President, there could be an upside. A lot more angry kick-ass songs from Patterson Hood.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by ariedl »

Kudzu Guillotine wrote:I don't know if Patterson wrote it or not but I believe there's another DBTs (or Adam's House Cat) song called "Santa's Out of Rehab for Christmas".

I can't believe I forgot "Hope Santa's Out Of Rehab For Xmas"! The Flagpole Christmas Album it was on was one of the first compilations I picked up after I started listening to DBT. WIth a 1996 release date, it has to be one of the earliest recordings by the band other than the 5 song EP that started everything. I just did a little googling and saw it listed as an Adam's House Cat track, but based on what I've heard by AHC, there's no way that's right. I'm pretty sure it's the same lineup that's on the 5 Song EP.

Back to "Mrs. Claus' Kimono", I vaguely recall hearing back when they recorded it (during the ABAAC sessions), that it was possibly for a Christmas compilation. Did it ever come out on anything other than "The Fine Print"?

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Iowan »

Santa's Out of Rehab For Christmas is my favorite DBT Christamas song.

It's on the copy I have of Town Burned Down.

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Gaetzi »

I'm pretty new to this board but that's super cool Patterson actually reads some of this stuff!
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Clams
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Clams »

Getting an early start on Song of the Week this week. Gonna bump this thread back up and run Mrs Claus' Kimono again. Happy Xmas everyone!*

* be sure to tune in next week for the LAST EDITION of sotw.
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Swamp
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Swamp »

One of my favorite holiday songs. Right up there with "Sammy the Christmas Snake" :D
BTW Patterson,your satirical side is what sealed the deal for me.
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by blackwll »

Pretty sure Cooley did not write any AHC songs. Not sure if anyone else did but sounds like a Hood tune. Saw that one the other day but did not get back to it. Have to now! B/W Kimono. That is pretty cool that Hood read this post and responded (either week 83 or 135). Doubt Bono or other "rock stars" do that!

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Re: dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Beaverdam »

Maybe I'm a week early, but....

BUMP

How many bands have a Thanksgiving song (Thanksgiving Day Filter) as well as Christmas song? I saw on this threat earlier something about a Christmas album in the works years ago...that would be interesting.

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Clams
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Clams »

Bump
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Swamp
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Re: dbt tracks week 83 & 135 - Mrs Claus' Kimono

Post by Swamp »

Clams wrote:Bump
When ever Betsy is not around my blow ups of Santa and a reindeer renact part of that song :shock: while our holiday owl watches :lol:
and the rest as they say is uh er uh, well somebodies history somewhere?

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